It wasn’t that she wanted him to leave, but if dealing with this head on hurt him this bad then maybe it would be easier for the both of them to spend some time apart and deal with it separately.  Easier, maybe, but would it be better?  If they didn’t deal with it together, how would they make it through the aftermath?

For the first time in a very long time she wanted to back away from him when he approached so quickly, unsure of what he intended to do, but when he pulled her into his arms and held her so damn tight she felt all her walls crumbling around her, everything she had been trying to keep suppressed bubbling to the surface.

She didn’t answer his question, just slid her arms around him and hugged him back, clinging to him like a lifeline.  She didn’t want to do this alone, she wanted him by her side, but if it was too much for him then she would do whatever it took.  She didn’t need him, she didn’t need anyone, she never had, but she wanted him, wanted him more than anything.

When he forced her to look at him she could see her own feelings mirrored back at her and that first hint of vulnerability became clear in her eyes.  She tried so hard to hide it, to remain strong, but face with such pain and misery it was hard to keep her own to herself.

“But… will you hate me?” she asked, her voice sounding almost childlike as she voiced the fear that had settled so deep in her heart, the one that scared her more than the rest.  “After this, after I do this…”