That look on her face hurt so much more than all the fears and doubt Clint had fought all day. Of course this was a catastrophe, the worst that ever could have happened and no one had said, it would be easy. It would be haunting them... just like so many other things they had done. And they had gone through all of those together and made it through, because they had always been there for each other. They would do the same with this crisis, for both their sanity, before one of them would break beyond repair.
He let go off her with one arm to cup her face with his still cold, trembling hand, push that baseball cap she was still wearing out of her face to make her look at him. That she even considered he was able of hating her, hurt, but it wasn't like he knew where it was coming from. Natasha had never had anyone to stick through everything going on in her life with her. No family, no one she had let close enough to her for it.
Except for him. Even if he had felt the wish, he would never have left her alone with this. He wouldn't be one of these assholes to vanish when it became difficult.
That still didn't make any of this easy, though. If he wanted her to believe him, he had to be honest with her. He couldn't go on pretending this didn't touch him to the core, not after that scene that had just happened. He still didn't know fucking why, since the idea of having a kid still scared the shit out of him, but that was how he felt and he couldn't change it. It didn't help lying about that.
"We'll probably end up hating ourselves a little", he finally said, after long seconds of just caressing her cheek and letting her see all these hurtful emotions on his face. "But Nat... Why should I hate you? We've made this mess, both of us. It's our decision whether we give this a shot. We're doing what we both can live best with. That doesn't change the way I feel about you, ever. I love you, Nat, not what your body can or can't do."
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That look on her face hurt so much more than all the fears and doubt Clint had fought all day. Of course this was a catastrophe, the worst that ever could have happened and no one had said, it would be easy. It would be haunting them... just like so many other things they had done. And they had gone through all of those together and made it through, because they had always been there for each other. They would do the same with this crisis, for both their sanity, before one of them would break beyond repair.
He let go off her with one arm to cup her face with his still cold, trembling hand, push that baseball cap she was still wearing out of her face to make her look at him. That she even considered he was able of hating her, hurt, but it wasn't like he knew where it was coming from. Natasha had never had anyone to stick through everything going on in her life with her. No family, no one she had let close enough to her for it.
Except for him. Even if he had felt the wish, he would never have left her alone with this. He wouldn't be one of these assholes to vanish when it became difficult.
That still didn't make any of this easy, though. If he wanted her to believe him, he had to be honest with her. He couldn't go on pretending this didn't touch him to the core, not after that scene that had just happened. He still didn't know fucking why, since the idea of having a kid still scared the shit out of him, but that was how he felt and he couldn't change it. It didn't help lying about that.
"We'll probably end up hating ourselves a little", he finally said, after long seconds of just caressing her cheek and letting her see all these hurtful emotions on his face. "But Nat... Why should I hate you? We've made this mess, both of us. It's our decision whether we give this a shot. We're doing what we both can live best with. That doesn't change the way I feel about you, ever. I love you, Nat, not what your body can or can't do."