Clint managed to stay mostly silent when Natasha started touching him, biting the inside of his lip and trying to will his muscles to give in. It didn't work as usual. Not only because there was a nerve where it didn't belong.
It was hard to relax when his mind was immediately on alert again, warning him that they were entering dangerous territory once more. But they had to. They had to go through the possibilities together. Natasha didn't want to let him out of this, so much was clear by now. He still didn't think he was a good choice to have a say in this but... He had promised her to be there for her. If that was what she needed for it, he had to get over his reservations and fears. It would hurt either way, no matter if he just went with her decision or laid out his thoughts.
"Not like we've always been very logical", he mumbled when she stopped, because she wanted him to talk and that was the first thing that came to his mind.
If he had been logical, rational back then, Natasha wouldn't be here to straighten his back where it belonged now. Then he would have fired that arrow into the right place and take care of the ruthless traitorous Russian murderer like it had been his job. Needless to say, he more often than not preferred to not act on his orders or on what other people would do. And Natasha wasn't exactly known as S.H.I.E.L.D.'s star pupil in every mission either.
The difference was that this wasn't about them only. This time their decision affected another life, not just for a moment, a day, a mission. This was about a whole new life either being started and maybe being fucked up or not. How could anyone make such a decision? He already felt his stomach flutter again and his back went even more tense.
"Fuck, Nat, this is... This is just too big. But I don't want to say no just because I'm a fucking coward. If you want that child, if you want to be a mother... I know that you'd do great, you know? It would make you happy and you would make the baby happy. That has to count for something too, right?"
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It was hard to relax when his mind was immediately on alert again, warning him that they were entering dangerous territory once more. But they had to. They had to go through the possibilities together. Natasha didn't want to let him out of this, so much was clear by now. He still didn't think he was a good choice to have a say in this but... He had promised her to be there for her. If that was what she needed for it, he had to get over his reservations and fears. It would hurt either way, no matter if he just went with her decision or laid out his thoughts.
"Not like we've always been very logical", he mumbled when she stopped, because she wanted him to talk and that was the first thing that came to his mind.
If he had been logical, rational back then, Natasha wouldn't be here to straighten his back where it belonged now. Then he would have fired that arrow into the right place and take care of the ruthless traitorous Russian murderer like it had been his job. Needless to say, he more often than not preferred to not act on his orders or on what other people would do. And Natasha wasn't exactly known as S.H.I.E.L.D.'s star pupil in every mission either.
The difference was that this wasn't about them only. This time their decision affected another life, not just for a moment, a day, a mission. This was about a whole new life either being started and maybe being fucked up or not. How could anyone make such a decision? He already felt his stomach flutter again and his back went even more tense.
"Fuck, Nat, this is... This is just too big. But I don't want to say no just because I'm a fucking coward. If you want that child, if you want to be a mother... I know that you'd do great, you know? It would make you happy and you would make the baby happy. That has to count for something too, right?"