When the Daylight Comes (For inevermiss )

[study_in_scarlet]

This was not how Natasha had imagined her evening going at all. After a frustrating day she had planned to have some tea, read a book, and maybe take a bath before crawling into bed for a good night’s sleep so she could redouble her efforts on the mission tomorrow. Instead her tea still sat untouched on the coffee table beside a half empty bottle of vodka, her book was discarded on the floor, and the living room was a general disarray of clothing, cushions, and even a knocked over lamp. They had made it to bed sometime between rounds one and two, but so far she had yet to fall asleep despite the soothing rhythm of Clint’s breath trying to lull her. She could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath her as he slept, a quiet comfort as she thought of what he had told her only a few hours ago.

Raising her head just enough to see his face, she studied his expression, noting the sense of peace she hadn’t seen on his features for a very long time, if she was honest. That was the problem, though: she hadn’t been honest; she hadn’t been honest with herself for just as long, and in the end she had failed him. Had she looked she would have seen that he was struggling, but it had been so much easier to ignore it, to pretend she didn’t see how he was fraying around the edges. She had wanted to believe that all was well, that she had fixed him, but she knew better than anyone that it wasn’t that easy. She had been lying to herself, so afraid to admit what was really going on. When Loki had had Clint she had been one push away from tearing the world apart to get him back and once she’d had time to look back and realise how close she had been it had terrified her. She couldn’t lose him, yet it had almost happened again, and this time there would have been nobody to fight, no way to get him back, and no one to blame but herself.

Placing the softest kiss on his chest, right over his heart, Natasha was careful not to wake him as she rolled away to lay on her back, eyes fixed on the ceiling. Replaying the events of the evening over in her mind she recalled his hot mouth on her skin, how he had held her gently yet firmly, how he had filled her so completely. It was a line she had told herself she would never cross, but she had been dancing along it for so long now it was only surprising in that it had taken this long. She was compromised, there was no point trying to deny it any longer, so only one question remained:

Where did they go from here?

Comments

[inevermiss]

Those words, even though they were followed by a reminder that he couldn't stay was more than enough to warm him from the inside out. Nat didn't make promises she didn't intend on keeping. Even if he knew that she'd find him, it was cemented that much more when she said it out loud.

The sun was getting too bright, too quickly. His window was closing and they both knew it. He reached up, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear before leaning in for one last kiss. One last promise.

There were things he probably needed to say. Things he wanted to, but he'd never been good at saying them. Instead he cupped her face and pulled back, forcing a grin despite the mixed feelings he had at leaving. "It's a date."

A moment later he had pushed himself out of bed and was quickly grabbing his things. The window was closing and he wouldn't be responsible for compromising Nat, even if she could take out these mobsters with her little finger. The mission was important.

[study_in_scarlet]

Part of her wanted to kiss him hard and rough, to burn her taste upon his tongue and the memory on his brain, but it didn’t feel right, not in this moment. Instead she returned the kiss softly, almost sweetly, her eyes remaining closed a moment longer after they parted before she forced herself to open them. His smile was forced, she could read that pretty easily, and while she knew her own would be more believable she didn’t even try. Until he spoke and she couldn’t help the faint yet genuine smile his words caused.

Only reluctantly did she let him up, and she inwardly cursed herself for feeling immediately cold and lacking from the loss of his body heat and comfortable weigh on her.

Rising from the bed, she wrapped her body in a silk robe and followed Clint to the living room, silently watching him gather his clothing and quickly dress. She wanted to say something but didn’t know what to say, and even if she could figure that much out she wasn’t sure how she would say it. She wasn’t the type to tell him to be careful, to watch his back, and she hoped she didn’t have to. He was different this morning, more like his old self. His confession last night had frightened her, but she had to trust in him, had to trust that he would never really give up, especially not now. If he didn’t think this thing between them was worth exploring enough to keep fighting then she would find a way to make him pay.

[inevermiss]

He could feel her eyes on him as he moved around the room. He dressed quickly, covering up any trace of his visit from the night before. He even made sure to grab his glass and put it in the dishwasher. It wouldn't do for anyone to think that Natasha had some company the night before.

When he was done he looked back at her, taking a moment to burn the sight of her in her robe in his mind. He would need to make the image last until this was all over.

He thought he should say something more. But he knew he didn't need to. He'd said all of the important things the night before. He wanted to go to her and kiss her one more time, but he knew if he did, leaving would be that much harder.

Instead he moved to the sliding doors, opening it and listening to the wind as it whistled past.

"See you later, Juliet," he said, his mouth quirking up wards. He stepped out onto the balcony and shot an arrow at the building across the way. When he was sure it was anchored he jumped, leaving Natasha and the night that still felt like some kind of dream behind.

[study_in_scarlet]

She should have protested when he started cleaning up the mess they had made, should have told him she would take care of it, that he should just go, but it meant he stayed a few minutes longer, and she unwisely allowed it. When he had finished she followed him to the balcony, though always keeping a few feet between them. She wanted to kiss him goodbye, to taste him one last time before he left but she restrained herself. How could she satisfy herself with one kiss? It was best not to tempt it.

His gaze was heavy as he looked at her, his eyes traveling over her as if memorising every detail, and she too remained silent; what more was there for them to say?

The breeze was cool when he opened the door; cool and fresh and she breathed it in greedily, envying Clint a moment that he could leave this place while she would be stuck here in someone else’s persona for an undetermined amount of time. His words caused him to smile, though, and she gave an exaggerated roll of her eyes. A moment later he had gathered his gear and fired a perfectly aimed arrow. A moment after that he was gone. Stepping out on the balcony she watched across the way until she could see him no more. She wanted to go back inside and wrap herself up in the sheets again that still smelled like him, but she had work to do if she was ever going to complete this mission. She was determined now, her frustration and momentary feeling of failure from the night before gone. She would redouble her efforts, she would get the information she needed, and she would nail that bastard to the wall.

“Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say goodnight till it be morrow,” she muttered to herself. Shakespeare was hardly her favourite, but some lines were impossible not to remember.