The first week was the worse; where he’d struggled miserably without having her comfortable weight pressed against him. Without having her there if he needed her, without being able to catch and hold her gaze and have those micro conversations with blank faces that spoke more words then a vocal conversation ever would. He spent the first week switching between his own floor, her bed and the roof. Had ended up smothered in her sheets without knowing how he got there, had stood and stared at himself in her mirror and watched the lines blur. He was losing control and there had been whispers in the back of his mind like sordid promises which he’d swallowed and fought away by telling himself that he was okay, that things would be okay. He’d told her something she didn’t want to hear, that much was obvious in the way he refused to talk about them, the way she would avoid conversation about whatever future they had. Maybe she didn’t believe in the future, she didn’t believe that they could have a future, that SHIELD wasn’t the end, that they could have something more, something normal, and something everyone else had. That first week he’d dwelled on it, had got him worked up over how she’d react. Whether she’d brush it off her shoulders and pretend he hadn’t told her he loved her, but he couldn’t deny what was in his heart. He couldn’t lie to himself any longer. If she didn’t love him back their dynamic may be ruined, but Clint would accept that with a heart so heavy it would hurt. In reality she was his world and that wouldn’t change.
Three weeks in and he decided to exhaust himself daily. Fury hadn’t given him anything to do, nothing Clint could work on so he took to the gym until his muscles strained and the sweat pooled and beaded on his skin. It had been enough for him to pass out every night and sleep through without thinking up ridiculous things in his own imagination.
A month passed and he’d begged Hill to let him do something, anything, so she’d handed him a list of new recruits and told him to work with them, teach them, run them dry and show them what it took to be a real agent. For the next period he’d thrown himself into it and found it as tiring as a solid day in the gym. There were only two people who shone in his group, a blonde with a sarcastic tone and a darker hair girl whose witty retorts had made him laugh behind her back. Barbara and Kate, the rest Clint didn’t care about but there was something special in the way the two women worked.
Which was why he’d taken the time to show them his skills, how to hone them, and was why he was standing in the archery range telling them both what they were doing wrong. Kate was a natural; Bobbi had more work to do. “You’re standing wrong, you need to shift your shoulders..” He trailed off, the woman wasn’t getting it and Clint was sick of repeating himself so he’d stepped forward, moved her body into position and held onto her arms while she picked her marker with a frown on her features. She pulled, the arrow hit, Clint grinned. Maybe he had changed, all that time spent in the gym had slimmed him, made his arms a little more defined, gave him back the soft accept of abs under his shirt but otherwise he was still Clint, and as the blonde wrapped her arms around his neck he kept that stupid grin on his face and his hands to the safer parts of her body. She’d have been a catch for a younger Clint, one who had no hang ups about who he was with or what he did, but at this age and time in his life the thought of looking at other women in any way made him feel like an awkward shy teenager all over again. It was Natasha or bust, it didn’t matter whether he glanced at another woman because he’d given his heart over to somebody else, to the woman with the flame red hair and the ability to constantly make him feel good. She was his home and the blonde who was grinning up at him could never sway his heart. It was with slight regret however, that Kate just happened to be glancing behind her at the door, and Clint followed her gaze over the shoulders of the woman in his lose grip until his eyes landed on the age old familiar sight that he could simply never grow tired of. To say he was frozen was a hard truth, the fact that the grin on his face was slowly disappearing was one hint and the fact that his fingers suddenly flexed on Bobbi’s waist was another.
This was either the most depraved trick SHIELD had ever pulled or.. “Tasha?”
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Three weeks in and he decided to exhaust himself daily. Fury hadn’t given him anything to do, nothing Clint could work on so he took to the gym until his muscles strained and the sweat pooled and beaded on his skin. It had been enough for him to pass out every night and sleep through without thinking up ridiculous things in his own imagination.
A month passed and he’d begged Hill to let him do something, anything, so she’d handed him a list of new recruits and told him to work with them, teach them, run them dry and show them what it took to be a real agent.
For the next period he’d thrown himself into it and found it as tiring as a solid day in the gym. There were only two people who shone in his group, a blonde with a sarcastic tone and a darker hair girl whose witty retorts had made him laugh behind her back. Barbara and Kate, the rest Clint didn’t care about but there was something special in the way the two women worked.
Which was why he’d taken the time to show them his skills, how to hone them, and was why he was standing in the archery range telling them both what they were doing wrong. Kate was a natural; Bobbi had more work to do. “You’re standing wrong, you need to shift your shoulders..” He trailed off, the woman wasn’t getting it and Clint was sick of repeating himself so he’d stepped forward, moved her body into position and held onto her arms while she picked her marker with a frown on her features. She pulled, the arrow hit, Clint grinned.
Maybe he had changed, all that time spent in the gym had slimmed him, made his arms a little more defined, gave him back the soft accept of abs under his shirt but otherwise he was still Clint, and as the blonde wrapped her arms around his neck he kept that stupid grin on his face and his hands to the safer parts of her body. She’d have been a catch for a younger Clint, one who had no hang ups about who he was with or what he did, but at this age and time in his life the thought of looking at other women in any way made him feel like an awkward shy teenager all over again. It was Natasha or bust, it didn’t matter whether he glanced at another woman because he’d given his heart over to somebody else, to the woman with the flame red hair and the ability to constantly make him feel good. She was his home and the blonde who was grinning up at him could never sway his heart.
It was with slight regret however, that Kate just happened to be glancing behind her at the door, and Clint followed her gaze over the shoulders of the woman in his lose grip until his eyes landed on the age old familiar sight that he could simply never grow tired of. To say he was frozen was a hard truth, the fact that the grin on his face was slowly disappearing was one hint and the fact that his fingers suddenly flexed on Bobbi’s waist was another.
This was either the most depraved trick SHIELD had ever pulled or..
“Tasha?”