When the sound of the shower cut out the silence was deafening, and Natasha wrapped the towel tighter around herself. She felt even more exhausted having got it all out, but she wasn’t sure if she felt relieved or regretful. She was supposed to be supportive and understanding, but she could only do that for so long. It wasn’t her nature to coddle nor to beat around the bush; she was direct, often harsh, but sometimes that was the best way to get through to someone.
She really hoped that would be the case here.
Giving him time to think over her words, she remained entirely motionless, watching him closely the whole time. Even when he spoke she didn’t answer, not wanting to interrupt his train of thought. He had to come to terms with what she had said or it was pointless.
Of course his first instinct was to backpedal, to try to take back the insinuations of his earlier words, and still she said nothing. She knew he loved her, and she knew he didn’t think badly of her because of her past, but he couldn’t hold her on a pedestal while condemning himself for lesser actions. If he was to hold himself accountable for what he had done then he should hold her accountable too.
Finally he was too overcome for excuses, too overcome to speak at all. When he let himself go, let the tears run free, she finally moved, one hand carding softly through his hair. She hated to see him like this, hated that she had pushed him this far, but she knew he needed it. He needed to let go, he needed to stop hiding behind a happy mask and pretending everything was okay, that life would just go back to normal if he pretended hard enough. He needed to stop running, to stop beating himself up, to stop internalizing everything. Maybe now they could start moving forward.
“It’s enough for now,” she said, continuing to run her fingers soothingly through his hair. “When I said the world wouldn’t be better without you in it, I meant my world. I need you, Clint, but I need you to fight, not for me but for you. You can’t keep going like you have been. You have to face it, you have to deal with it, and you have to move on, but you don’t have to do it alone. I’m with you, and I’m not going anywhere.”
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Date: 2014-03-28 12:13 am (UTC)From:She really hoped that would be the case here.
Giving him time to think over her words, she remained entirely motionless, watching him closely the whole time. Even when he spoke she didn’t answer, not wanting to interrupt his train of thought. He had to come to terms with what she had said or it was pointless.
Of course his first instinct was to backpedal, to try to take back the insinuations of his earlier words, and still she said nothing. She knew he loved her, and she knew he didn’t think badly of her because of her past, but he couldn’t hold her on a pedestal while condemning himself for lesser actions. If he was to hold himself accountable for what he had done then he should hold her accountable too.
Finally he was too overcome for excuses, too overcome to speak at all. When he let himself go, let the tears run free, she finally moved, one hand carding softly through his hair. She hated to see him like this, hated that she had pushed him this far, but she knew he needed it. He needed to let go, he needed to stop hiding behind a happy mask and pretending everything was okay, that life would just go back to normal if he pretended hard enough. He needed to stop running, to stop beating himself up, to stop internalizing everything. Maybe now they could start moving forward.
“It’s enough for now,” she said, continuing to run her fingers soothingly through his hair. “When I said the world wouldn’t be better without you in it, I meant my world. I need you, Clint, but I need you to fight, not for me but for you. You can’t keep going like you have been. You have to face it, you have to deal with it, and you have to move on, but you don’t have to do it alone. I’m with you, and I’m not going anywhere.”