Natasha Romanoff | The Black Widow

Just a post to keep track of memes and threads.

* The Masquerade Meme ~ Natasha and Clint are on a mission at a masquerade ball. Hijinks ensue. (ihazanest )

* The TRAPPED Meme ~ The Winter Soldier is captured and detained by S.H.I.E.L.D. and Natasha is brought in to deal with him. (bucky_barnes )

* That Awkward Meme When ~ Clint kidnaps the wrong mark; bickering and interrogating ensue. (inevermiss )

* Sleep Snuggle Meme ~ Loki's actions left Clint with terrible nightmares, but Natasha is there to see him through the nights. (cawcawbirdbrain )

* The Morning After Meme ~ The morning after a hectic mission and a rough and rowdy night together. Fun, fluff and smut. (ihazanest

* Hurt/Comfort PSL ~ Clint shows up at Natasha's place broken and bloody. She takes care of him while getting to the root of the problem. (ihazanest



Verse with cawcawbirdbrain

* The Domestic Meme ~ Clint and Natasha go grocery shopping and play at being a normal couple. Things get strained when Natasha reveals she has to go away for four months alone.

* Tearing Down the Walls ~ When Natasha returns after over three months deep cover, her and Clint discuss 'them'.

* The Picture Prompt Meme ~ Natasha surprises Clint by taking him to the carnival.


Vampire Verse with ihazanest

* The Meeting Again Meme ~ Natasha dies in the field but reawakens a vampire. SHIELD isolates her while they work to help her control her new nature. Six months later they allow her a visitor.

* The Vampire Meme ~ Natasha is a vampire still working for S.H.I.E.L.D., and after Clint has one too many close calls she offers to make him like her.


'No Beginning and No End' Verse with this_looksbad

* In the End it All Begins Again ~ Ultron's reign of terror is over and the world is as if it had never happened. Only those alive at the shift remember it, and Natasha seeks comfort in one of the few people that remembers and will understand.

* This One's For the Lonely ~ Clint is haunted by horrible nightmares, just as he feared, and they hope that together they can both ward off the demons that await them in their slumber.

This was not how Natasha had imagined her evening going at all. After a frustrating day she had planned to have some tea, read a book, and maybe take a bath before crawling into bed for a good night’s sleep so she could redouble her efforts on the mission tomorrow. Instead her tea still sat untouched on the coffee table beside a half empty bottle of vodka, her book was discarded on the floor, and the living room was a general disarray of clothing, cushions, and even a knocked over lamp. They had made it to bed sometime between rounds one and two, but so far she had yet to fall asleep despite the soothing rhythm of Clint’s breath trying to lull her. She could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath her as he slept, a quiet comfort as she thought of what he had told her only a few hours ago.

Raising her head just enough to see his face, she studied his expression, noting the sense of peace she hadn’t seen on his features for a very long time, if she was honest. That was the problem, though: she hadn’t been honest; she hadn’t been honest with herself for just as long, and in the end she had failed him. Had she looked she would have seen that he was struggling, but it had been so much easier to ignore it, to pretend she didn’t see how he was fraying around the edges. She had wanted to believe that all was well, that she had fixed him, but she knew better than anyone that it wasn’t that easy. She had been lying to herself, so afraid to admit what was really going on. When Loki had had Clint she had been one push away from tearing the world apart to get him back and once she’d had time to look back and realise how close she had been it had terrified her. She couldn’t lose him, yet it had almost happened again, and this time there would have been nobody to fight, no way to get him back, and no one to blame but herself.

Placing the softest kiss on his chest, right over his heart, Natasha was careful not to wake him as she rolled away to lay on her back, eyes fixed on the ceiling. Replaying the events of the evening over in her mind she recalled his hot mouth on her skin, how he had held her gently yet firmly, how he had filled her so completely. It was a line she had told herself she would never cross, but she had been dancing along it for so long now it was only surprising in that it had taken this long. She was compromised, there was no point trying to deny it any longer, so only one question remained:

Where did they go from here?

The first few nights were the worst; that initial moment of panic when she awoke alone before remembering where she was and that Clint was thousands of miles away, the emptiness she felt not just in the bed but in her heart when he wasn’t near. Eventually that faded but with each passing day Natasha grew more worried about how he was holding up. How was he coping with the nightmares without her to sooth them away? Was he working himself too hard as a distraction?

More than any of that, though, was that unshakeable expectation that her phone would one day ring and she would be called back with those three words that made her blood run cold and still haunted her dreams.

Barton’s been compromised.

She couldn’t shake the fear, but worse than that was the realisation that the phone call never would come, even if something did happen to him. With Coulson gone, who else would know to call her? Who else knew how important Clint was to her? Sure, many people had their suspicions, but none of them knew for certain because she had never allowed it. She had been so insistent that they keep their relationship secret, and with each passing day it became harder and harder to remember why. Over the years he had become a very important part of her life, the best thing in her life, so why was it so hard to give herself over so completely? What was she so afraid of?

His last words to her ran through her mind constantly, the clear desperation in his voice making it clear that it was something he had been holding back for a long time. He loved her, and he didn’t say it expecting to hear it back, nor did he say it in some last ditch effort to get her to stay, or to stall her for a few more minutes. He said it because he felt it, because he meant it, and because he needed her to know how he felt. There was no manipulation behind the words, only truth.

And she had said nothing in return.

She could argue all she wanted with herself that there hadn’t been time, that the doors had closed and cut off any reply, but ultimately it was a lie. She could have stopped the lift, she could have gone back up or even called him. She could have been a few minutes late getting to the base, but she had just walked away like she always did. Now she couldn’t stop thinking about it, couldn’t stop regretting it.

“...if something did happen and I didn’t say it I’d never forgive myself.” Those were the words that haunted her the most. She knew how he felt, now without question, but she kept her own feelings so guarded, kept them even from herself, that there was no way he could know. What if something happened to him while she was gone? Or to her? She had a lot of time to analyze her own feelings during this mission, but what if she never got to tell him? What if he never knew?

All these thoughts plagued her every waking hour so Natasha threw herself into the mission more than ever. She took more risks, pushed harder than normal. It was dangerous and she very well could have blown the entire mission, but it seemed that luck was on her side. The job was expected to take at least four months.

She finished in three and a half.

Every second felt like a full minute as she sat through her debriefing. Director Fury praised her speed even as he showed disapproval for her recklessness, but in the end it was a mission accomplished and a job well done.

Walking out of his office, Natasha made a beeline for the weapons range. She had asked Agent Hill about Barton’s status, her heart pounding in her chest, and had been beyond relieved to hear that he was currently on base, safe and sound. She could have called him the second the mission was over, but having finished so early she had hoped to surprise him. Of course it also played a factor that if she had called him and received no answer she wouldn’t have known how to handle that.

Stopping just outside the archery range, she took a deep breath. He wouldn’t be expecting her, and while she hadn’t done anything so drastic as shave her head or go blonde, she did look a little different. She hadn’t cut her hair since before their last conversation, and while it hadn’t grown that much in their time apart she had taken the time to straighten out the curls which gave the illusion of extra length. He would probably look just the same, she hoped he would, and after a moment’s pause she pushed the door open and walked in.