Clint reached for her hand again, just holding it on her leg where she hugged herself, making it very clear with not only his words that he wouldn't leave her alone in this, not one second. And that it was her choice, whatever happened.
He could live with the uncertain pondering about what ifs, especially after all these years with the comfortable reassurance that he never would be a father. That he would never be even given the chance to fuck someone else's life up as his own father had. He had long accepted that and if Natasha didn't want that risk of a risky pregnancy, it was more of a relief than anything else.
But her answer still wasn't definite. And while it was enough for him to hold on to it, to make up his mind, because he didn't want her to get hurt... It was her who really needed to be sure. Her body, her loss she had already gone through once, and her decision to not put this onto herself once more. Still all this... didn't mean, she didn't want to. That was not what she had said.
"I just would hate to see you do something you regret later, Nat. I'll be with you every step of the way, okay? No matter what you do."
He leaned down to press his lips against her hand again, his cheek, close his eyes for another few moments and try to let her nearness, her touch calm the storm inside, the way she always could so easily. This time it didn't work.
"I'll go make these calls. Will you be okay for a while? I can go next door if you want. Just... Stay with me, please."
And goddamnit if his voice wasn't already starting to tremble again. He only meant for her to not run outside in the worst heat with her body already not being well, without him knowing where he could find her. Or maybe he meant something more. Right now he just knew that his heart broke everytime he looked at her and had to see her so crushed, and that he hated to leave her alone for even a second.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2014-06-09 08:52 pm (UTC)From:Clint reached for her hand again, just holding it on her leg where she hugged herself, making it very clear with not only his words that he wouldn't leave her alone in this, not one second. And that it was her choice, whatever happened.
He could live with the uncertain pondering about what ifs, especially after all these years with the comfortable reassurance that he never would be a father. That he would never be even given the chance to fuck someone else's life up as his own father had. He had long accepted that and if Natasha didn't want that risk of a risky pregnancy, it was more of a relief than anything else.
But her answer still wasn't definite. And while it was enough for him to hold on to it, to make up his mind, because he didn't want her to get hurt... It was her who really needed to be sure. Her body, her loss she had already gone through once, and her decision to not put this onto herself once more. Still all this... didn't mean, she didn't want to. That was not what she had said.
"I just would hate to see you do something you regret later, Nat. I'll be with you every step of the way, okay? No matter what you do."
He leaned down to press his lips against her hand again, his cheek, close his eyes for another few moments and try to let her nearness, her touch calm the storm inside, the way she always could so easily. This time it didn't work.
"I'll go make these calls. Will you be okay for a while? I can go next door if you want. Just... Stay with me, please."
And goddamnit if his voice wasn't already starting to tremble again. He only meant for her to not run outside in the worst heat with her body already not being well, without him knowing where he could find her. Or maybe he meant something more. Right now he just knew that his heart broke everytime he looked at her and had to see her so crushed, and that he hated to leave her alone for even a second.