He kept saying ‘we’. We decided this, but had they really? He had asked her what she wanted and she had told him her decision. I can’t, I need but what about Clint?
He was so damn supportive, almost to a fault, and Natasha wanted to bury her face in his chest and hold him tightly and let him sooth it all away, but it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that they had to go through this in the first place, but it also wasn’t fair what she was doing to him. Maybe she had been pushing him away as doing it alone would be easier as she wouldn’t have to see what it was doing to him.
Shivering at his touch she made herself meet his eyes when prompted, made herself face all the hurt he was feeling; made herself recognize that this wasn’t just about her. He was opening himself up for her, dropping that mask and letting her see the true depth of his pain. He wanted to be strong for her just as badly as she did, but all the lying would only hurt them worse in the end. She could live with regret, had for most of her life, but this was different. They had to walk into it with both eyes open, knowing full well how each other felt about all of it.
When he had finished speaking Natasha shook her head. “Our decision, but I never really gave you a choice,” she said, her voice cracking faintly. She had to ask, had to know; he deserved that, deserved everything. “Clint... what do you want? If it was your decision to make, and yours alone?”
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Date: 2014-06-13 04:04 pm (UTC)From:He was so damn supportive, almost to a fault, and Natasha wanted to bury her face in his chest and hold him tightly and let him sooth it all away, but it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that they had to go through this in the first place, but it also wasn’t fair what she was doing to him. Maybe she had been pushing him away as doing it alone would be easier as she wouldn’t have to see what it was doing to him.
Shivering at his touch she made herself meet his eyes when prompted, made herself face all the hurt he was feeling; made herself recognize that this wasn’t just about her. He was opening himself up for her, dropping that mask and letting her see the true depth of his pain. He wanted to be strong for her just as badly as she did, but all the lying would only hurt them worse in the end. She could live with regret, had for most of her life, but this was different. They had to walk into it with both eyes open, knowing full well how each other felt about all of it.
When he had finished speaking Natasha shook her head. “Our decision, but I never really gave you a choice,” she said, her voice cracking faintly. She had to ask, had to know; he deserved that, deserved everything. “Clint... what do you want? If it was your decision to make, and yours alone?”