"We're going to do everything we can", Clint agreed with a firm nod.
That still hurt his neck but he decided he didn't care about that right now. Natasha looked so relieved, so happy suddenly, that a great weight was lifted off his heart. He thought, he could live with the fear for the moment. For the next months. They would share it and carry each other. They would carry each other when the worst happened, when something happened to the baby after all. But he didn't want to think of that now. They had a chance, a good chance. Heck, that was more than they often had had in the past on a mission.
"I want to believe in this", he added quietly, softly stroking Natasha's reddened, sensitive cheek with his thumb. "Whatever happens, we'll be able to say, we tried. Maybe we should take another ultrasound or something next week and then again and... you know, just to go sure and all. And we'll talk about everything and how we get this done and... I just..."
He tried to rest his head on Natasha's shoulder but no, that wouldn't work yet, so he just held her close and tried to breathe in shaky, long sighs through the new threatening panic.
"I'll need you in this, red. You need to watch me, you need to tell me if I'm doing something wrong."
His voice broke and he held her even closer to his chest, with tightly closed eyes, to chase away ghosts emerging from 30 years old graves. Natasha believed in him, she had told him that, and maybe if she did, he could, at least a little. But he was scared. So fucking scared.
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Date: 2014-06-21 09:43 pm (UTC)From:That still hurt his neck but he decided he didn't care about that right now. Natasha looked so relieved, so happy suddenly, that a great weight was lifted off his heart. He thought, he could live with the fear for the moment. For the next months. They would share it and carry each other. They would carry each other when the worst happened, when something happened to the baby after all. But he didn't want to think of that now. They had a chance, a good chance. Heck, that was more than they often had had in the past on a mission.
"I want to believe in this", he added quietly, softly stroking Natasha's reddened, sensitive cheek with his thumb. "Whatever happens, we'll be able to say, we tried. Maybe we should take another ultrasound or something next week and then again and... you know, just to go sure and all. And we'll talk about everything and how we get this done and...
I just..."
He tried to rest his head on Natasha's shoulder but no, that wouldn't work yet, so he just held her close and tried to breathe in shaky, long sighs through the new threatening panic.
"I'll need you in this, red. You need to watch me, you need to tell me if I'm doing something wrong."
His voice broke and he held her even closer to his chest, with tightly closed eyes, to chase away ghosts emerging from 30 years old graves. Natasha believed in him, she had told him that, and maybe if she did, he could, at least a little. But he was scared. So fucking scared.