She knew he hated this, and she couldn’t blame him. She had done her fair share of psychiatric tests and discussions when Clint had first brought her in, but unlike him she had been trained to withstand all types of torture, as well as how to read people and tell them exactly what they expected to hear and make it believable. She had lied her way through most of the exams, but she had known that the truth was not something that any of them were prepared to accept.
Clint was different. He was softer, and he had a much stronger moral code than Natasha. It wasn’t that she didn’t feel guilt for the things she had done, but she was able to leave them in her past where they belonged and move on. She didn’t dwell on them, didn’t cry for those she had killed, because none of that would make any difference. All she could do now was try to atone for her sins. Clint, however, didn’t see it that way. He let the guilt and the fear eat at him, and he took it all to heart. None of it had been his fault, he hadn’t been in control of his actions, but he still blamed himself for all of it, no matter what anyone tried to tell him. It was the kind of thing people like Dr. Samson ate right up. The doctor wasn’t a bad guy, but Natasha would never warm to him because of his profession.
Walking along beside Clint, one corner of her mouth curved up at his words and she shot him a quick look. “I don’t know about that. Anyone who doesn’t slick back their hair with a pound of grease and sport a terrible mustache is a sight for sore eyes to me right now.”
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Date: 2014-03-20 10:56 pm (UTC)From:Clint was different. He was softer, and he had a much stronger moral code than Natasha. It wasn’t that she didn’t feel guilt for the things she had done, but she was able to leave them in her past where they belonged and move on. She didn’t dwell on them, didn’t cry for those she had killed, because none of that would make any difference. All she could do now was try to atone for her sins. Clint, however, didn’t see it that way. He let the guilt and the fear eat at him, and he took it all to heart. None of it had been his fault, he hadn’t been in control of his actions, but he still blamed himself for all of it, no matter what anyone tried to tell him. It was the kind of thing people like Dr. Samson ate right up. The doctor wasn’t a bad guy, but Natasha would never warm to him because of his profession.
Walking along beside Clint, one corner of her mouth curved up at his words and she shot him a quick look. “I don’t know about that. Anyone who doesn’t slick back their hair with a pound of grease and sport a terrible mustache is a sight for sore eyes to me right now.”