study_in_scarlet | Dancing in the Dark (for farmboyhawk)

"I'll remind you when you have to roll me out of bed tomorrow."

Clint chuckled softly and lifted his head to seek her mouth, just a short, butterfly-light kiss. He was in no mood to let go off her at all, but now that they were coming down from their high, he began to feel that they were both covered in all kind of stuff. Waking up like that tomorrow wouldn't be too comfortable.

"What do you say, beautiful, take a bath with me? I'll carry you back to bed if you fall asleep, promise."

Lifting her head to meet him, Natasha smiled softly against his lips. As much as she wasn’t ready to move, this wasn’t the most comfortable position to relax in, especially with the soiled towels under them.

“And if you fall asleep?” she said, leaning back a little further to look at him. He looked relaxed, happy, and she loved how adorably disheveled his hair was from her fingers running through it. “You’re going to have to let me go so I can let you up.”

"I think I can handle it."

Clint had spent years and decades behind a sniper scope or his bow, waiting for a mark to move, and his last record of staying awake was worth a note in some statistics probably. Besides, staying awake with Natasha in his arms was hardly a strain.

For now he did have to let her go, though, with a pout of disappointment on his lips. Not without another tender kiss to one of the spots on her shoulder though, where he had left a small mark after all, small enough to be gone by tomorrow hopefully.

“Mmm,” was all Natasha answered. She knew he wouldn’t fall asleep until she was settled warmly in bed; he simply wouldn’t allow himself.

Moving her hands to his shoulders, she gave him one last quick kiss before gracefully swinging her leg over and dismounting from the bed. “I’ll get the water running while you clean up in here,” she said, giving her hips an extra little swivel as she walked out of the room. She didn’t need to look back to know he was watching.

Once in the washroom she mixed the water and stoppered the tub. After using the toilet she gathered up some fresh towels and wash cloths and stacked them beside the tub before selecting a subtly scented bubble bath and pouring a little under the running water.

Natasha made sure to give him a very interesting view on her way out, and Clint spent a few extra long seconds reveling in the memories of what they had just done. Sometimes there were lazy nights when just a little cuddling was perfect, and then there were nights like this when they had about the self-control of teenagers. He loved how easily and naturally they happened to fall into both moods and enjoy it equally. There wouldn't be too many calm nights for them in the foreseeable future, so they should definitely make the best of it.

For the rest of this night, they had spent themselves enough, so he made sure they would have a comfortable bed to return to after their bath. The idea with the towels had been good, he just hadn't considered how wild things would really get. With a little sigh, he started to change the sheets once more and made a mental note to wash them himself tomorrow. He didn't need another embarrassing note on his kitchen table.

When everything was ready and the water stopped running in the room nearby, he joined Natasha, a tired but very relaxed, happy smile on his lips. He waited for her to decide which seat she wanted to have in the tub this time. As long as he was close to her, he didn't really mind either way.

Clint took longer than expected to join her in the bathroom, and it wasn’t until she had shut the water off that he finally showed. “Did we really make that much of a mess?” she asked with an amused grin. While she had been waiting she had taken the time to tie her hair up out of the way and clean the make-up off her face. She had also noted a few little marks on her skin but nothing so dark as the one he had given her back in New York, the one she had retaliated for by mirroring it on his skin.

Seeing that Clint was waiting for her to get into the tub first, Natasha stepped in and seated herself near the middle, leaving room for him to get in behind her. As much as she loved to wrap her arms around him and bury her face against his back, she figured he would relax more if he wasn’t worried about putting his weight against her. Besides, her breasts were still rather tender so it was probably better all around. “Come on, hotshot. It’s not nice to keep a lady waiting,” she said, grinning up at him.

"I blame it entirely on you being too hot for me to contain myself", Clint quipped, returning her grin.

It was a shame, seeing Natasha's perfect body disappear in the water with the foam now blocking his view, but fortunately she didn't keep him waiting. He hurried to follow her inviting smile, taking his place behind her, sighing a little when the hot water engulfed him, leaving his skin sensitive. The scent was nice, not too intensive, and though it was with regret he felt the traces of their game being washed off him, he could feel himself relax into just that perfect blissful state of tiredness before getting really sleepy.

"Come here?", he mumbled softly, caressing up and down Natasha's back.

Clint wasn’t the only one enjoying the view, and Natasha took a moment to look him over, noting every sign of their previous activities on his skin.

Wrapping her arms around her knees, she waited for him to settle down, smiling softly at the content sigh that escaped his lips. This was the perfect way to end a rather wonderful day, and no matter what the future held for them, these memories would carry them through.

At his invitation she slid back between his legs and leaned back against his chest. Stretching out she let out a sigh of her own and closed her eyes. “Thank you for today,” she said quietly, running one hand idly along his leg.

Clint already had his mouth open to say something similar, to tell her again that she was amazing and how much he loved being with her. But he had told her all that already, more than once, today. So he settled for a long, tender kiss on Natasha's neck instead and kept his cheek there, just holding her close while the tiredness washed over them both and comfortable silence fell.

"Anytime", he just murmured softly before closing his eyes to just enjoy the moment for a while, Natasha's body snuggled close against his in warm weightlessness and the sweet exhaustion in his bones. His fingertips drew soft idle circles on her belly and sides and from time to time he covered her neck with these innocent light kisses. That was all and it was all he needed for the perfect ending of this evening.

Natasha smiled at the response and rested her head back on Clint’s shoulder. No more words were needed as they expressed everything they felt with gentle touches and the comfortable silence.

The warmth of Clint’s body and the water that surrounded them, as well as the soft scent of the bath lulled Natasha not to sleep, but into that state somewhere between sleeping and waking. Later, when the water began to cool, she would awaken if he tried to move her, but she might just play along and let him dry her off and carry her back to bed anyway. Then she would sleep, warm and safe in his arms, his love for her practically radiating from him, proclaiming itself with every heartbeat.

Eventually he would sleep too, and hopefully the nightmares wouldn’t plague them. Not tonight.

She looked and felt so very peaceful, so relaxed when she leaned back against him, Clint just had to watch her for a while. The fine lines of worry and fear on her forehead from the last days were gone at least for now. Her bright skin was shining softly in the dimmed light, her lips still cherry-red from their passionate kissing.

The light smile on them didn't go away, even when she dozed in his arms. Just a few days ago he wouldn't have thought it possible that she could rest so easy at least for a little while, and he was thankful for every single second.

He didn't touch her much to not disturb her, just held his hands softly on her belly and caressed her ever so gently with his fingertips. The thought of what was there, of why her skin felt so especially soft, was there, dancing under the surface like their bodies under the layer of foam, but he didn't let it break through, not really. He just kept on treating that certain spot with especially tender touches and let his tiredness blur the rest out. Tomorrow was early enough to think about that again.

Natasha couldn’t help but notice where Clint’s hands gravitated and focused, but she wouldn’t let herself think too much about it, not tonight, not when she was feeling so warm and protected in his arms. Even as she dozed she could feel his eyes on her and it was that as much as anything that kept that smile on her lips. In this moment she felt like nothing could touch them, like they could accomplish anything just so long as they faced it together.

For a long time they stayed like that, not talking, barely moving, until the heat started to dissipate from the water. “We should probably get out soon,” Natasha eventually said, her voice barely above a whisper, but she made no move to do so, her hands covering Clint’s on her stomach.

"Hm-hm."

Clint blinked a little, trying to get awake. For a while he had actually been dozing. He wasn't in a mood to let go off Natasha at all, but the water would soon be cold and he certainly didn't want her to be.

He lowered his head to her neck again, leaving a long, tender kiss there and nudged her just a little, very gently, to get her to move.

"Well, the sooner we get back, the sooner we can cuddle again", he chuckled against her skin.

Natasha chuckled at his choice of motivation. If anyone were to ask if she was a cuddler she would deny it vehemently, but she didn’t have to pretend with Clint. She enjoyed being in his arms, feeling his heart beating under her hand, his breath blowing softly over her hair. She loved the closeness, the comfort. Sometimes she needed her space, but others she wanted nothing more than to be close to him.

“You make a good point,” she said, though it was with a heavy sigh that she moved her hands to the sides of the tub and slowly got to her feet. Stepping out onto the fluffy mat, she grabbed one of the towels and started to dry off, moving aside so Clint had room to follow her out.

"I do have my moments."

Clint allowed himself to watch her for a moment before he got out of the tub and let the water out. With a towel lazily slung around his hips, he stepped closer to press his lips to her bare shoulder, warming a few last drops of water. His arms around her hips helped her get rid of the last moisture, then he led her back to the bedroom gently where the bed was waiting for them. A very inviting sight by now.

He crashed more than he laid down and rolled on his back with a hardly suppressed yawn.

"I will regret not being ten years younger tomorrow", he chuckled quietly, stretching out his arm for Natasha to cuddle into his side if she wanted. "But you certainly make me feel like I am."

Natasha smiled as Clint threw himself down on the bed, wet towel and all, and yawned though he tried to hide it. Throwing her own towel into a nearby hamper, she let her hair down out of the messy bun she’d tied it up in before slipping between the sheets beside him.

“Younger men are overrated,” she said, rolling to her side to face him and tucking one hand under her pillow. She tried to keep her face neutral but there was a spark of amusement in her eyes. “More often than not they have stamina, but are completely lacking in technique.”

In all honesty she rarely even thought about the age difference between her and Clint unless he brought it up. Age was just a number, but Clint was Clint no matter what, and he never seemed to have any trouble keeping up with her, whether in the field or the bedroom.

"You always know how to stroke my ego."

Still chuckling, Clint got rid of that disturbing towel and pulled the bed covers over their bodies instead. Turning to his side, mimicking Natasha's position, he just looked at her for a while, that smile still on his lips, until his lids felt too heavy with tiredness to keep them open. He forced them back open, not willing to let the day end just yet but couldn't suppress another yawn.

“Among other things,” Natasha replied with a grin. She watched as he finally ditched his towel and joined her under the covers, his position mirroring her own. For a while they just looked at each other, an action that was strangely comfortable; just watched each other in silence, noting the soft smiles, the lack of worried creases.

When Clint finally closed his eyes she did the same, though she swore she could feel him watching her again a moment later. “Get some sleep,” she said, her lips curling further upwards. “You’ve earned it.”

Snuggling a little deeper against the pillow, with her body blissfully exhausted, her heart light and her mind relatively at ease it wasn’t long until she drifted off herself.

Tonight it was different.

After Clint had stopped fighting the overpowering exhaustion, telling himself there would be enough time to look at Natasha again tomorrow, he was out pretty deeply soon.

First that dreaded feeling of fear and unease wanted to come back when he waded through some blurry dream and started to hear this creepy faint crying of a baby again. But when he got closer, determined to find out what the hell he was seeing and remembering there every night, he didn't spot some strangers or long lost faces of a mission that had gone downhill.

He saw Natasha. She looked very young and very sweet with her hair in a bun and round, rosy cheeks. She didn't see him, she was all busy smiling at the baby in her arms. When she held it to her chest, it stopped crying immediately.

Clint couldn't help but smile too and hurried to get closer. He wanted to take a closer look, he wanted to meet the child - his baby - see how it looked and if it was a boy or a girl, if it was as beautiful as his mother... He didn't reach Natasha before the dream faded to nothingness and he couldn't help but feeling disappointed when he started awake. Then he remembered, he just had to wait a few months before meeting this baby - if everything went well - and he smiled again.

It still was all too much to comprehend, but he preferred a dream like that over that other shit gladly. Very carefully, to not wake Natasha, he leaned over her and touched her belly, just with two gently caressing fingertips, and left a kiss there. He was too sleepy to worry right now, to think about everything that could go wrong or how they would handle it. Just for a little while, he wanted to enjoy that he could think of this whole thing without fear, just with anticipation. The next morning would come soon enough.

Natasha didn’t dream, not really, or at least nothing that she could truly identify or remember. There were flashes; faces, colours, sounds, but nothing solid, nothing she could grasp. Memories, darkness, pain, pleasure. Somewhere amidst it all she subconsciously recognized Clint’s touch and everything seemed to settle, to clear.

In her dream she looked down to find him kissing her swollen belly, clearly many months into the pregnancy. His expression was one of complete infatuation and adoration. Already he loved this baby, this little being they had made together, against all odds. Would she love it too? Would she allow herself to love it, to care so much for something so fragile and helpless and dependent upon her?

He kissed her stomach again, and right then was when she felt that first stab of pain wrenching through her gut. She screamed and clutched her stomach, then she was falling, somehow slipping through Clint’s fingers as he tried to catch her...

Natasha woke with a start, her stomach churning, and she barely had time to roll over and grab the bucket she had had the foresight to put beside the bed before they’d gone out to supper last night.

Natasha seemed hectic when she moved, so Clint hurried to get out of the way, assuming she was still caught in some kind of dream. It wasn't like he couldn't take it if she was to leash out, but they both tended to blame themselves for such occurrences. After the last perfect night, he didn't want the next crisis already when it was still dawning outside.

Natasha had been very calm in her sleep before, so he assumed it was either a light nightmare or one of the really bad ones. Either way, he moved to lay back by her side and try to wake her carefully, but it turned out, it wasn't necessary. Natasha slipped away from him before he was all out of the way and leaned down the bed.

Oh. Right. That. And apparently this time it was so bad, it haunted her in her sleep.
Well, somehow they would have to get used to this. Worst case was, it would last another six months.

Clint brushed Natasha's shoulder quickly, letting her know, he was there and aware what was happening and then got up to hurry to the kitchen. After placing a new water bottle from the fridge right next to her, he sat back down and carefully, softly stroked her back, ready to help her out with anything she would need.

Natasha hated this feeling. She hated being sick. It wasn’t something she was used to as it so rarely happened to her, so these past few mornings had been particularly hellish. At least yesterday it had faded rather quickly, so she could hope that today would be a repeat of that.

Truthfully she wouldn’t remind a repeat of the entire day, as wonderful as it had been.

When she finally stopped retching she set the bucket back on the floor and tried to take a few soothing breathes. “This will stop eventually, right?” she asked. She hadn’t gotten past it last time, but then she had gotten sick even earlier in the pregnancy before. She hadn’t made it much farther along than this.

Taking a sip of the water Clint had brought her she swished it around in her mouth and spit it into the bucket before taking a smaller sip to actually swallow. “Sorry I woke you.”

"Don't apologize. It's not your fault. I've been up anyway."

Clint kept on stroking her back soothingly, ignoring the stale smell from Natasha's sickness without even blinking. They had sat through worse conditions than a little nausea really.

"We still have that tea Angelina recommended you. I'll make you some if you like."

He leaned a little closer to kiss her shoulder, just as tenderly, lightly. He wished he could do more but from all - which wasn't much to be honest - he knew about all this, it was pretty clear that Natasha couldn't escape this inconvenience. He just could be there and support her every morning.

"Your body will get used to peanut in no time, I'm sure. And even if it takes a while, I'll be always here for you, okay?"

She closed her eyes and tried to focus on his soothing touch and voice, but her stomach kept turning, threatening to rebel again. “Okay,” she accepted the offer of tea, willing to try most anything natural at that point.

For a moment she thought about talking to Angelina, but that old superstition and fear held her back from even suggesting it. Really, though, would it be so bad? The woman had already figured it out on her own, so how different would it be asking her for help rather than a doctor? It wasn’t the same as announcing it to family and friends. Which also brought to mind the phone call she knew she had to make today. She had promised to check in and keep Fury updated, and if she waited much longer for that first update he would no doubt track them down.

Groaning, Natasha flopped back onto the bed and tried to curl up into a ball under the thin sheet, a shiver running through her whole body. She hated to ask for help, it wasn’t something she had ever gotten used to, even with Clint, but it was high time she sucked it up and let him do what he could. Why make it harder on herself and deny him from helping, which he so clearly very much wanted to do. “Before you go, could you throw me some clothes?” she asked awkwardly.

Natasha was practically squirming at the sheer question, and it made him sad. By now she should know that she could be weak in front of him, that he wouldn't ever judge her for it. That nothing made him happier than helping her when she needed it.

But there wasn't anyone who understood better where this notion was coming from, why she was that way, and it already had gotten much better with time. So he didn't say anything, didn't assure her again that he would be there with anything anytime she needed it. That she should really know by now.

Instead he stopped at the cabinet and got out a soft pair of trackpants and a sweater - one of hers for a change - for her. The morning was feeling cooler than it had been in the last days, and Clint had an idea, autumn had finally arrived.

He put the things on the bed, in easy reach for Natasha, and leaned down to kiss her temple and put her messed up hair out of her face gently. It hurt, seeing her that way, sick and weak, it always did, but it would pass, and he wanted to do his best to help that process. He thought about taking the bucket to the bathroom for a second but let it be then, in case the nausea wasn't completely gone yet.

"Back in a minute, beautiful", he murmured soothingly and hurried to get to the kitchen then.

Dancing in the Dark (for farmboyhawk)

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