When the Daylight Comes (For inevermiss )

[study_in_scarlet]

This was not how Natasha had imagined her evening going at all. After a frustrating day she had planned to have some tea, read a book, and maybe take a bath before crawling into bed for a good night’s sleep so she could redouble her efforts on the mission tomorrow. Instead her tea still sat untouched on the coffee table beside a half empty bottle of vodka, her book was discarded on the floor, and the living room was a general disarray of clothing, cushions, and even a knocked over lamp. They had made it to bed sometime between rounds one and two, but so far she had yet to fall asleep despite the soothing rhythm of Clint’s breath trying to lull her. She could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath her as he slept, a quiet comfort as she thought of what he had told her only a few hours ago.

Raising her head just enough to see his face, she studied his expression, noting the sense of peace she hadn’t seen on his features for a very long time, if she was honest. That was the problem, though: she hadn’t been honest; she hadn’t been honest with herself for just as long, and in the end she had failed him. Had she looked she would have seen that he was struggling, but it had been so much easier to ignore it, to pretend she didn’t see how he was fraying around the edges. She had wanted to believe that all was well, that she had fixed him, but she knew better than anyone that it wasn’t that easy. She had been lying to herself, so afraid to admit what was really going on. When Loki had had Clint she had been one push away from tearing the world apart to get him back and once she’d had time to look back and realise how close she had been it had terrified her. She couldn’t lose him, yet it had almost happened again, and this time there would have been nobody to fight, no way to get him back, and no one to blame but herself.

Placing the softest kiss on his chest, right over his heart, Natasha was careful not to wake him as she rolled away to lay on her back, eyes fixed on the ceiling. Replaying the events of the evening over in her mind she recalled his hot mouth on her skin, how he had held her gently yet firmly, how he had filled her so completely. It was a line she had told herself she would never cross, but she had been dancing along it for so long now it was only surprising in that it had taken this long. She was compromised, there was no point trying to deny it any longer, so only one question remained:

Where did they go from here?