study_in_scarlet | Dancing in the Dark (for farmboyhawk)

"Early morning sleep is not exactly helpful lately. I think I'll acclimate a little more and take a siesta later."

Clint nuzzled his cheek against her, enjoying the moment, the closeness that felt so damn good after the emotional roller coaster yesterday. His hands rested softly on her arms, caressing her softly without holding her, in case she had to move away fast. Judging from the pale color of her cheeks, it probably wouldn't take too long.

"How are you holding up? Need water or something?"

Natasha thought she could be happy just holding him like this for a couple of hours, especially after the past two days of tension, but she knew that wasn’t in the cards. Her stomach was protesting and she knew it wouldn’t be long before it revolted completely.

“Since I’m already up I think I will just go wait out the inevitable,” she said, kissing him again before reluctantly letting go. Tying her hair back out of the way she headed for the bathroom.

Since they were already up, Clint could as well take care of the necessary. Just as lazily dressed as yesterday he went to the kitchen, always with an ear to the bathroom, in case Natasha needed help, and prepared breakfast for Liho.

Even while he was still on it, he heard the familiar meowing outside and shook his head a little, rolling his eyes. Much too used to it already. He'd have to talk to Angelina sooner or later about little one, make plans for when they were leaving. His housekeeper would hopefully keep an eye on her, that would make the good-bye a little easier. Somehow he tended to stumble into certain caretaker situations lately, without really knowing how it had happened...

This time he made very sure that there wasn't anything breakable or eatable in the living room before he let little one in. He could have fed her outside of course, but since Natasha was already hugging the toilet again, maybe she would feel a little better with the kitten near.

It was too early and Natasha probably too sick, so he didn't bother with breakfast for them, only got two new water bottles ready and then busied himself a little with sweeping a small layer off dust from the furniture. And of course there was already kitten hair too.

"You could really clean up after yourself, you know", he grumbled in Liho's direction but wasn't rewarded with more than a twitch of her tail.

Laying a towel on the floor to sit on, Natasha spent some time just resting her head against the toilet seat and willing the sickness to go away, but eventually it reared its ugly head again. At least she had considerably more in her stomach this morning, which strangely seemed to help.

Ten weeks. That was roughly two and a half months, which meant she had at least another six months of this to go through. Hopefully, her mind tagged on and she couldn’t help but laugh despite everything, though it wasn’t necessarily a happy laugh. Imagine, hoping to be this sick every day, but the alternative... she would take the sickness, she would take it all day, every day if she had to rather than go through that again.

She could hear Clint moving around in the kitchen, heard the front door and figured their little guest was in for breakfast, unless Angelina had decided to stop by. The woman hadn’t surprised them by showing up yet, though, so Natasha figure she knew they were private people and didn’t go for surprise visits.

When she was once again spent Natasha flushed the toilet and folded her arms on the seat to rest her head on again. She wasn’t sure it had passed yet and didn’t want to risk moving, though a shower sounded really good right about then. Maybe just a couple more minutes.

Natasha was gone longer than the day before and though Clint really did try not to worry and coddle her, after a while he grew restless.

"You behave", he growled at Liho but still didn't get much of a response. Fortunately he found that ringing ball the kitten had played with in a corner and rolled it in her direction for after breakfast. That way he could hear at least if the little devil was up to no good again.

But then his attention was solely on Natasha. He didn't want to suffocate her with too much worry and quietly knocked instead of just entering.

"Need a little help there, red?"

Natasha listened to the quiet sounds in the kitchen, the soft tinkling of Liho’s toy bringing a soft smile to her lips. It wasn’t much longer before the knock on the door.

“Come in,” she said, opening her eyes to look at the door as Clint entered. “Just taking a nap,” she joked though she looked tired enough. It wasn’t really tired so much as weak, and it would pass once she was able to eat again. “Leaving the little one alone out there again? You’re asking for trouble.”

"A room can be fixed."

Clint just shrugged and closed the door behind him. It wasn't exactly a new sight by now, but it still hurt seeing Natasha like this. Here was hoping this wouldn't last for much longer. And holding on to the small, relieving satisfaction that this was normal, completely normal, that everything was as alright as could be. They could get through the inconveniences together.

He gently got his arms around her, keeping them away from her stomach, and helped her sit on the bath tub edge, just like yesterday. The throwing up had left its toll and he remembered that she hadn't been in a mood for showering yesterday already, so that probably was the best start for the day.

"Want me to help you?"

He nodded inside the shower shortly and handed Natasha her water bottle, softly caressing her sweat covered cheek with his thumb.

Natasha hated appearing so weak to anyone, but Clint was the only one she really allowed to see her this way. For anyone else she would lock the door or suck it up and carry on no matter how difficult that task was, but not for Clint. He got to see her as she truly was, got to see all her faults and fears. He was the only person who truly knew the real Natasha, and there was no point trying to make herself strong and presentable for him.

She let him help her up and gratefully took the bottle of water. Taking a few small sips she closed her eyes a moment as the cool water soothed her burning throat. After a moment she nodded in response. Clint never made her ask for help, he was always there to offer it if he thought she might need it. It was always easier to accept help than to ask for it.

"Come on, let's get cleaned up. We both need it."

Clint knew only too well how much Natasha hated to be weak - a trait they had always shared - and tried not to make much of an issue of it. And it wasn't. It wasn't the first time and it certainly wasn't a punishment. At least it gave him the feeling, he could help her out a little, while she carried the main burden in all this.

He quickly got rid of these pants he had just put on and climbed in the tub to turn on the shower and find a nice comfortable temperature, then he softly coaxed Natasha to turn around, sit on the inside of the edge, and pulled the curtain close so they wouldn't get everything wet. Then he simply pulled her in his arms and helped her stayed upright with one arm firmly held around her ribcage, while the warm water washed over them both, washing away the last of stupid dreams and stain from nausea.

"Something special you want on your skin?", he murmured against her neck.

Natasha stayed seated on the edge of the tub while Clint undressed and climbed into the tub to mix the water. She certainly wasn’t going to complain about the view, even if she really didn’t have the energy to do anything about it.

When he pulled her into his arms she went gladly, wrapping her own arms around his shoulders and leaning into him. She hadn’t planned on washing her hair again but she didn’t even try to keep it out of the spray of water as she leaned her head against him and closed her eyes.

“You mean besides your skin?” she couldn’t resist teasing despite everything.

"We can do something about that later."

Clint chuckled into her ear, a little on the rough side to tease her back but concentrated on his job then again. Getting clean was the plan here.

Though he still felt that damn murder workout from yesterday, it was easy to keep Natasha upright with one arm and reach for the shower gel. Even if he wasn't feeling at his full physical best, it took more than a little muscle soreness to compromise the strength in his arms. That definitely came in handy now.

He took his time lathering up Natasha's back and arms but didn't lose too much time when he came to working her butt, going on straight to her thighs. Grabbing her a little tighter against him, he coaxed her to bend her leg and rest it on the bath tub to coat her lower leg and foot with the softly smelling foam, quickly to not exhaust her when she was already feeling weak. After repeating the same on the other side, he turned her carefully in his arms and got a new dollop of gel to spread on her chest on stomach. Here he was even more careful, fingers barely touching her, especially on her stomach, since she didn't exactly look like she was feeling better. Finally his hand slipped gently between her legs, nearly clean of lather, with just the smallest of pressure, to finish the thorough clean up.

"Better?"

He pressed a small kiss to her neck and softly caressed her hip with his fingertips while the water washed down the lather.

"Do you need your hair washed?"

She smiled at the response, that rough note to his voice never failing to at least make her shiver. Now was certainly not the time, though.

Clint’s strength had always been impressive, especially in those gorgeous arms of his, and while Natasha hated showing weakness, she could think of worse places to be right now than in those strong arms while he rubbed soap all over her skin. She lifted her feet when he asked and only reluctantly loosed his arms from around him so she could turn around and let him wash her front. He touched her so softly, so carefully, and never once gave into temptation. He really was an amazing man, and she felt almost overwhelmed by how lucky she was to have him.

Must have been the hormones she always heard pregnant women talk about.

“No, I think it’s fine,” she said, leaning back against him. “Hope to go swimming later anyway, if I can still fit into my bikini.” Reaching back she threaded her fingers through his hair. “Want me to clean you up next?”

"That's not a question of want, red."

Clint chuckled against her ear and bit her earlobe softly but made no move to let go off her yet. Of course it would have been nice, he always loved it when Natasha was touching him. But she shouldn't think she had to, when she wasn't feeling well.

"Or, you know, you can just sit and watch the show. I know you hate it when I worry too much."

He felt his cheeks flush a little and sighed, shrugging so she could feel it.

"Kick me or something if it gets too much. It's just... You have to deal with this crap every morning already, and maybe it helps you more taking it easy until your stomach is better. We can do this here as often as you like, okay? I just want to do whatever I can to help you."

She appreciated his honesty, and she appreciated that he worried about her; she had never really had anyone care enough about her before to worry, but he was right in that it got on her nerves eventually. It was nice to have someone worry, but she hated being treated as fragile, especially when he knew how strong she was.

Turning in his arms again, she wrapped her own around his neck and kissed him softly. She had to give him a little leeway here, because while he worried, she also knew it was a feeling of helplessness that was making it worse. It was her body, she was the one who had to go through all these changes, all the pain and sickness and everything that went with it while he could do little more than watch. He couldn’t take any of it away, couldn’t really make it better, but he wanted to help, needed to be useful, and she had to allow him that.

“Thank you,” she murmured against his lips, slowly opening her eyes to peer up at him. “It helps just having you here, not having to do it alone.”

"Always."

Clint cupped her neck to pull her in for another light, loving kiss after a short breath of relief. At least she hadn't ripped his balls off. It would be a fine line to balance in the next months, between trying to provide what she needed and keep his distance. But as long as they kept talking to each other, honestly, they would handle it.

As good as it felt standing under the warm spray and let it wash away what was left of soreness in his muscles, they should at least try and save a little water, especially when they were going to the beach later anyway.

Forgoing further discussion, Clint reached for his own bottle of shower gel, opened the lid with trained, skilled movements of two fingers and held it out to Natasha then with a smile.

"Offer still standing?"

Communication really was the key, and while it had been a long, hard road getting there, they were finally in a place where they could talk through practically anything. That would be very important over the coming months.

When he held the bottle out to her Natasha smiled softly at him. As much as he worried he was trying to let her decide what was too much for her, and she had to give him credit for that. Taking the bottle, she poured a little of the gel into her hands and lathered them. Wrapping her arms around him she worked the lather over his back first before taking a step back to get his front. She was quick, efficient, using no more time, touch, not pressure than required. As tempting as it was to linger on certain body parts it wouldn’t be fair to start something now that she didn’t intend to finish, so she behaved, keeping the shower not quite clinical but wasting no time either.

“Now what do you say to some breakfast?” she said, reaching behind him to turn off the water. It seemed almost silly to get clean before getting covered in sand and sunscreen again, but it felt nice. And maybe they could avoid the sunscreen today. Spend some time at a covered café, maybe check the library for some informative books, and then head to the beach in the evening once it was cooler and not as crowded.

Breakfast sounded better than Clint had expected after days of not being hungry at all. His stomach gave the answer before he could, and he rolled his eyes at it with a chuckle.

"Sounds like a good idea apparently."

He pulled Natasha close for another kiss and murmured a thanks but let go off her quickly then. Her damp, flushed body all pressed into his after she had just touched him so thoroughly, that would only have brought up naughty thoughts, and there wasn't room for those right now. He reached past the curtain for towels for both of them and quickly dried off before getting back in the pants from before.

"Well, that is if Liho hasn't empty the fridge", he added with a mock-frown. "By now I wouldn't put it past her. See if you got a hold of her, red? She's got a few more days of pills before her."

The way that Clint’s stomach seemed to have a mind of its own capable of communication never ceased to amuse Natasha. Chuckling against his lips she returned the kiss before letting him out to get them towels. As much as she would love to stay in the tub with him all day there were other things they needed to do, like eat.

Drying off and wrapping the towel around herself, Natasha took her hair down out of the messy bun she had put it in earlier and brushed it out before working it into a quick braid. “She does seem to be a smart one,” she said as she opened the bathroom door.

“Liho, where are you, little one,” she called, glancing around the room. Silence was never a good thing when dealing with a pet, and the living room appeared to be deserted. “You check the kitchen and I’ll try the bedroom,” she said, heading in that direction. They might have to start closing all the doors if they were going to give the kitten free reign over the house, otherwise she would soon think she owned the place and end up curled up in the middle of their bed with the sheets balled up around her...

Clint didn't find anything in the kitchen- except for something that should have been there and wasn't. They had left the two pieces of pizza from yesterday on a counter with a plastic lid over it, to keep away whatever made it through the insect net. Not only did Liho get really good with climbing stuff, she apparently had pulled that damn lid off all by herself. It looked like she had dragged away one of the pieces, if the faint layer of crumbs and grease on the floor was any indication. At least that made it an easy trail to follow. Clint was so impressed with little one's stealing abilities that he couldn't even really be mad.

He joined Natasha in the bedroom with his hands in his hips and shook his head with a grin, pointing under the bed.

"She learns. Not sure we should be happy with what she learns, but she definitely takes after us."

Natasha raised her eyebrow at Clint when he joined her in the bedroom and pointed under the bed. It was then she noticed the trail that led in that direction.

“We may have to try to teach her the things we actually want her to learn to combat that mischievous nature,” Natasha said, shaking her head though one corner of her lips twitched upwards slightly. “Otherwise she might not be cut out to be a house cat for even a few minutes at a time.”

Grabbing a pair of shorts and a shirt, she dropped her towel and changed quickly, trying to decide the best course of action here. The fact that Liho was hiding probably indicated that the kitten knew she had dome something wrong, so they couldn’t just grab her without being attacked, they would need to lure her out. “I guess we should be scolding her for these things.”

"Don't know how good I am with that. My famous glares somehow don't work with her."

Clint was still grinning but tried to become serious now, concentrate on the problem at hand, even if it was just a small one. Personally he preferred it if little one stole a little food from time to time and got a little more fat on her body rather than destroying things, but somehow she had to learn manners anyway. He wasn't really much in a mood to let himself get scratched open again, though.

"Maybe we should just get started with breakfast", he sighed. "She'll probably come out all by herself when she smells my pancakes. I've been told, they're hard to resist."

“Famous glares?” Natasha repeated, raising her eyebrow at him as if she didn’t believe he could be imposing for a second. Of course she had seen his ‘scary side’ before, but after the emotional rollercoaster of the past few days she was determined to keep the mood light and fun for the rest of the day.

Tapping her lips as she considered Clint’s suggestion, she eventually nodded. “I can vouch for that,” she said. Maybe they hadn’t done a lot of cooking together but on nights when she actually did stay over Clint had always made her wonderful breakfasts. “She seems to be a bottomless pit, so that should definitely be enough to coax her out.”

"I'll put my 'I love the cook'-apron back on then."

Clint winked at hear and headed back to the kitchen. The rest of pizza had to go to the trash, sadly, but he would make sure they would do this soon again.

Cooking pancakes was something he could do in his sleep, so he allowed his mind to wander a bit, humming some old Sting-tune quietly while he was working. Natasha seemed to have recovered from her morning sickness faster than yesterday and he was very thankful for that. Maybe they could find some kind of balance in all this sooner than he had feared.

Tomorrow they should pay another visit to the market to refill their supplies - and he was absolutely not thinking about getting a litter box for Liho - and as long as the weather was still that warm, they should get to the beach as often as possible. Especially after his encounters here years ago, Clint knew too well about the healing sensation of the ocean breeze while the sun warmed your face. They needed every small massage for they soul they could get right now, before things would become either really ugly or their lives would be turned upside down.

Without much surprise he heard the quiet scratching of claws behind him after a while which obviously meant, Liho had smelled sugar, chocolate and warm milk and was trying to re-climb that chair to jump on the counter. He pretended to not realize for the moment to not scare her off and rather kept an eye out for Natasha to intervene. He rather not wanted the furball anywhere near a hot plate.

After Clint left the room Natasha crouched down and peered under the bed. In the shadows she could only see a pair of yellow eyes staring back. “You just enjoy your breakfast and we’ll go do the same,” she said, having no doubt that the kitten would do just that before coming out in hopes of enjoying theirs with them as well.

Joining Clint in the kitchen, Natasha seated herself on one side of the counter, making sure to stay out of his way. She thought of offering to help but she had done enough standing for a while and just needed to sit, and she knew Clint would only wave her off to do just that if he had any inkling that she was pushing herself. Besides, he really did make amazing pancakes and she would probably only screw it up if she got involved.

When their little guest finally made an appearance Natasha kept still but just hummed softly. She didn’t want to grab Liho and risk getting scratched but didn’t want to scare her away either, so she made no sudden movements, just let the kitten know she was there, and try to seem as inviting as possible as she reached her hand down and wiggled her fingers.

Clint didn't think he would get tired anytime soon of how Natasha looked when she was spending time with little one. Her cheeks had their color back, that much he could see from the corner of his eyes easily, and with her hair in that certain style, her body just a little more rounded than usual... He had never seen her that young looking, and - except for these days of pain and fear - certainly not that relaxed.

He wondered if she was aware just how loving and affectionate she smiled down at their little visitor. For a moment he could see it clearly with his inner eye, how she held a small little bundle of human in her arms instead, how happy she would be... Though the scare that thought brought had let off a little, he didn't dwell in that picture too long. Looking forward to things that weren't completely certain was too dangerous.

But he did feel very much like kissing that soft rosy shine of her skin and her lips right now. He didn't want to disturb her or startle the kitten, so he just waited and went on getting their food done.

Reservation seemed to be the right way. Soon enough Liho angled for Natasha's hand playfully and purred a little, forgotten the plan of jumping on the counter for the moment. It was more and more clear that little one had taken a deep liking to her temporary owner.

With a probably completely dumb smile on his lips, Clint got the first of their pancakes out on a plate and decorated it with a little extra chocolate for Natasha to enjoy before starting on the second. He gave Liho two seconds before she would try to join him on the counter after all.

Dancing in the Dark (for farmboyhawk)

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