Natasha Romanoff | The Black Widow (
study_in_scarlet) wrote2013-08-11 07:32 pm
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Dancing in the Dark (for
farmboyhawk)
They didn’t get a lot of time off together, at least not enough to make a trip away worthwhile, so for this one weekend they decided to stay in the city and play tourist for the day.
They had started with a walk through Central Park before grabbing an early lunch at one of the city’s many street vendors and then wandering through the American Museum of Natural history. Natasha found the Hall of Minerals fascinating while Clint had gotten a kick out of all the dinosaur bones. They both enjoyed laying under the big blue whale with all the normal people.
Afterwards they went to a nice restaurant for supper, blending into the crowd of normal couples as best they could and Natasha actually forgot if she was playing a role or being herself as they finished their wine and shared their desserts.
“Thank you,” she said sincerely as they left the restaurant, stepping back into the cool night air. Nearby a busker played guitar and sang with surprising melody and soul, barely seeming to notice as people threw change into his open case, so caught up was he in his music.
They had started with a walk through Central Park before grabbing an early lunch at one of the city’s many street vendors and then wandering through the American Museum of Natural history. Natasha found the Hall of Minerals fascinating while Clint had gotten a kick out of all the dinosaur bones. They both enjoyed laying under the big blue whale with all the normal people.
Afterwards they went to a nice restaurant for supper, blending into the crowd of normal couples as best they could and Natasha actually forgot if she was playing a role or being herself as they finished their wine and shared their desserts.
“Thank you,” she said sincerely as they left the restaurant, stepping back into the cool night air. Nearby a busker played guitar and sang with surprising melody and soul, barely seeming to notice as people threw change into his open case, so caught up was he in his music.
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Clint pointed a finger at her, pretending to pout, and wrapped the towel around his waist then, still shivering.
Natasha obviously had no plans on changing clothes anytime soon, but he obviously wasn't that lucky. Well, revenge could be so sweet...
He made sure to take his time wriggling out of his improvised bathing trunks under that towel. And winding his pants back on with the same efforts, without giving any of the passing joggers or people walking their dogs a free show. If that towel maybe slipped one or few times, just for Natasha to see, it was clearly by accident.
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As far as Natasha was concerned she always won; Clint’s libido was much more active and easily switched on than her own.
Crossing her arms, she watched him with raised eyebrows, unabashedly taking in every inch of skin he took upon himself to flash her. It wasn’t that she was entirely unaffected, but the whole thing was more amusing than anything. “Are you done?” she asked when he finally seemed to be finished with changing his clothes. The fact that he was going commando now could prove to be fun later. “It takes you longer to get ready than I do. The market must be open by now.”
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They were poking each other again, to the point where friendly tackling and jabs in the ribs wouldn't be far. Clint decided that this morning was much too nice for that. After putting on his shirt - without a show this time - he just walked over to Natasha, swept her in his arms and kissed her, her cheek first, the sharp line of her chin and finally her lips.
"You know me, red. Sometimes I have to be thirteen years old."
With his arm loosely around her waist, he lead her back to the car, again taking the passenger seat without even asking this time. The way wasn't really hard to find, they had been there yesterday, after all. By now the market place was indeed a lot busier, fairly divided between stands with groceries, clothes, electronic media stuff and all kind of nonsense they might or not need for their little household.
"So, are we looking for something special except for food and stuff? Like a litter box?"
The bad thing was, he probably wasn't entirely joking.
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“Don’t ever change,” she said. “That immaturity is a good part of your charm.” She said it teasingly, but there was definite truth to it. The fact that Clint had been able to retain his boyish glee after all these years was part of what she loved so much about him. She’d never had a childhood, never had an opportunity to be childish, but with Clint she could, and it felt good to be able to be that free with another person.
She located the market easily and found someplace a little bit of a walk away to park so they wouldn’t have to navigate through the people when they were ready to leave. Taking Clint’s hand as they moved through the crowds, Natasha took in the wares of each stall they passed, making a mental list of items to take a closer look at. When he spoke, though, her list was forgotten.
Turning to look at Clint, she tried to read him, but she wasn’t sure she was reading him right. Usually she could tell when he was joking, but this time she wasn’t sure. “I don’t know... are we?” she asked. Did he really want to adopt the cat, or was he suggesting it just because he thought she wanted to? And if that was the case... did she want to? She thought of that little ball of fur from her early days in the red room, and her dream from last night came rushing back. “I don’t know...” she said again, lowering her eyes, her brow furrowed. It wouldn’t be like that but... she had never had anything depend on her before for its well being. What if she failed?
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Commitment. Not a favorite subject for anyone working a job like Natasha and him.
For Natasha it was even a thousand times harder. Clint kind of should be aware of that after 10 years of waiting for her.
Maybe the last days had gotten to his head a little, clouded his sight with the happiness Natasha so often was radiating lately. She had looked happy too when that animal had been around, and he loved it when she was happy. He wanted her to be happy. Maybe he sometimes got a little over enthusiastic with that.
That little furball was cute, sure, and he didn't mind putting some food out in the morning. If they could somehow get it sanitized, maybe he wouldn't mind it sitting on Natasha's arm in the evening, while they were watching a movie or something.
Unfortunately they couldn't stay here forever. And unless Natasha had some really helpful and understanding neighbors, keeping an animal with a job like theirs wasn't exactly easy.
Then again, maybe he was thinking much too far. Right now he cared mostly about Natasha's smile. And maybe a little about that rather helpless seeming stray. He always had had a weak spot for these.
"I don't think we'd get her to use a litter box anyway. Or sleep in the house, for that matter."
He pulled Natasha a little closer, so they wouldn't be in anyone's way, and softly lifted her chin to let her know, he understood, he knew. And still wouldn't push her in any direction she wasn't comfortable with. Going by what he knew would be good for her, would make her feel good, just like it had always been... That would apply in this case just as well.
"But she's really pretty small for how old she must be. Summer litters should be able to take care of themselves by autumn. Can't hurt to coddle her up a little, right? Then she'll be ready for the winter. Wherever she'll end up then."
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Meeting his eyes again at his urgings, she saw the understanding there, and the promise that he would never make her do anything she didn’t want to. She thought that was it, that he would drop it unless she instigated the topic of conversation again, but he didn’t, and she found herself strangely grateful for the fact. If it was left up to her to broach the subject it would never happen, but of course he knew that. He may not push her, but he was making sure she really thought about it before saying no.
The thought of leaving the kitten behind when they left struck her with such sadness, and maybe that was what this was all really about. She couldn’t really keep the cat, couldn’t take it with them, so wouldn’t it be a bad idea to let herself get attached to it only to have to leave it behind? And wouldn’t that be crueler in the long run for the little thing?
Wasn’t it easier to stop now than to break all their hearts later? But of course it was that line of thinking that had made her keep Clint at arm’s length for so long.
Wrapping her arms around Clint’s waist, she buried her face against his chest and closed her eyes. She didn’t understand why this whole thing was making her so damn emotional, and she wasn’t sure how to deal with it. She didn’t want to abandon the little kitten, especially not after realising that it was small and underweight, but she was afraid. She was afraid of what would happen if she let it in.
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He couldn't shake the feeling that there was something still not completely right with her. Maybe she was feeling worse than she told him because she didn't want to spoil their holiday, and her weakened state lowered her mental defenses too... Something knotted hard in his stomach. It shouldn't be like that, Natasha should be able to tell him such things. He had made the last days clearly too much about himself if she started to ignore her own needs so much. He didn't want to ask again, but he would have to watch her a little closer.
For now he just held her close, ran his fingers soothingly through her hair and over her neck and ignored the curious glances around. He murmured a few calming phrases in Russian into her ear so no one could listen, telling her, it was okay, that he was there for her and cared for her, just like in the morning after her nightmare. Whatever was shaking her so badly right now, that was most important for her to know... That he was there, no matter what she wanted.
The subject was clearly distressing her, so there was no use in pressing it. He'd just make sure to buy a little extra meat on that stand over there and have enough milk in the house, and the rest... they could always talk about, if Natasha felt like it.
"What do you say, let's just get our stuff for now? And then the beach is waiting."
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It was becoming increasingly difficult to convince herself that everything was fine and that it was just jetlag, a different climate, and the release of all the stress that had been building for months.
Through it all, though, she was grateful for Clint’s constant presence. He didn’t try to get her to voice what was wrong; he just spoke soothingly to her in a language nobody else around them would understand, his hands caressing her gently until she could breathe again. He was her constant, always there when she needed him. She had let him in, given him a chance, and it was the best thing she had ever done.
Maybe it was time to try again.
“Okay,” she agreed, finally stepping back though keeping one arm around his waist. They could get the groceries they needed, and maybe a little extra for their tiny lodger.
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If she was still feeling off tomorrow... Then they would have to talk, as little as he liked it, as much as he hated bringing up conflict between them. This journey was about Natasha just as much as about him, and he didn't want to know her in constant distress.
For now he just kept her close, with his arm casually around her shoulder, while they walked their way along the stands to check on their needs. After restocking his spice and vegetables supply, Clint ordered one of the dealers to pack a generous selection of all kind of pasta stuff. He was planning on cooking at least a few times for Natasha while they were here. About high time he got some practice back with that.
While the guy was busy with that, he lead Natasha to a stand with dozens of different tea flavors, all kind of colorful and intensively smelling in raw powders from heavy clay bowls. Personally, he was more the coffee type and quickly had found his usual favorite brand for their purchase, but Natasha was the tea lover between the two of them. Maybe looking around here would distract her a little.
"Want you knock yourself out here while I get the stuff into the car?"
He nodded in the vague direction of the parking lot, which conveniently also included passing the stands with beverages. And all the meat stuff. He needed his fix of ham for breakfast anyway. No harm in asking a little what the hell you had to feed kittens who weren't grown enough for hunting mice and birds yet.
"You know me, I can use the workout and all. Can't afford to go soft in these arms."
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How could she tell him when she didn’t even know?
At least for now he seemed content to just be her silent support, something she was entirely grateful for.
They stocked up on a good number of food items, and the more Natasha immersed herself in the fresh fruits, vegetables, breads and pastas for sale the more relaxed she felt. Her stomach even started to rumble a little, reminding her that she had barely eaten yet today.
The tea stand was a nice surprise, and she offered Clint a smile when he settled for his usual coffee and excused himself. “Okay, but you do realise I could spend a fortune at this one stall, right?” she said, managing to sound more like herself. “You’re not the one looking a little pudgy,” she continued, pinching a bit of fat at her waist before giving him a light push to let him know he could go, that she would be fine here without him.
While Clint carried off their purchases, Natasha selected several different teas. One with ginger for her stomach, some chamomile to help her sleep, and a couple of exotic blends she had never tried before that smelled strongly of various spices. Once they were paid for she didn’t want to wander too far from where Clint had left her, but a nearby stall caught her eye. A lady was selling handcrafted hats and various other items, but it was the tiny little mouse, clearly a cat toy, that Natasha ended up purchasing.
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Grinning, Clint left a quick kiss on her neck before he went off on his own and softly patted her hand away from where she was measuring her body. That was the least thing she should have to worry about right now.
"You look great as ever, red. Get your body back on track, then you'll be back to workout routine in no time."
He left her alone to hopefully ponder a little about his words and at least get that silly concern out of her head. His own work was quickly taken care of. Lots of water and milk, a little wine, enough meat for more than one humble attempt of bolognese... Probably he bought too much of everything as usual, just to make sure they'd be good for a while. Well, Angelina could always use the rest to take care of her little furry fosterlings for a while, once they would leave.
The woman behind the meat stand also let him know very helpfully that cats could eat pretty much everything except for pork which he seldom bought anyway. It also wouldn't hurt to leave a few leftovers of vegetables and fruit on the plate for little one. No big deal, really. He planned on cooking more anyway. Getting another bowl with stuff ready was no effort, right? The part of his brain still battling that whole cat keeping concept, saved a lot of more advices in the back of his brain for later - watering down the milk was good, right? Cheaper and all - and rather concentrated on his purchase. And if there was a small fish supply in his bags though he wasn't even a big fan of the stuff, he could always say, it was for Natasha.
After getting the whole stuff in the trunk of their car, his arms burned a little indeed and he decided, that had been enough of workout for today. Lying on the beach with Natasha, a long lazy afternoon that hopefully would make her feel better, stealing a little kiss and touch here and there... That sounded really nice now.
On the way back he passed a bakery that was opened unusually early for Italian clocks and entered without even thinking about it much, vaguely remembering that Natasha still didn't have much in her stomach. She could always say no.
"Don't judge. I've exhausted myself, I need more energy."
He came back to find her by some rummage stand, just too late to spot what she put in her bag, and tried to stare not too curiously. He rather busied himself with his snack instead. Second breakfast was totally a thing in some countries, right? With a rueful grin, he held out the second flatbread sandwich to Natasha. It wasn't even an excuse to just get her to eat. If he didn't take care, he'd be the one complaining about putting on weight soon again.
"Want to help me out with that?"
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“Well, if you’re worried about how much you’re eating you could have bought just one,” she said even as she took the second sandwich from him. The handful of crackers this morning really wasn’t holding up well, and for the moment her stomach felt settled enough for some real food. Maybe if she just didn’t overdo it like she had done with the mountain of pasta then she would be fine. “But I suppose I will just have to remove temptation.”
Hooking the bag over her shoulder, she took a bite, careful to leave one hand clean so she could still shop. “What do you think?” she asked. She had laid out a couple of the scarves in various colours and patterns.
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Clint really tried for like, exactly two seconds, but the temptation was just too big. To leave no doubt what he was referring to, he let his hand that wasn't busy with delicious olive-tomatoes-salad-heaven, wander to Natasha's arm, his fingertips idly playing over her wrist.
After a quite stern look from the dealer he pulled himself together though and eyed Natasha's little selection. A little experience in style stuff he had gathered in all these years working cover with her after all.
"That green is perfect for your eyes, I think."
Also, he liked the little touch of tiny black starfish along the seams.
But the one really catching eye was a bright white one with hints of silver woven in.
"And that one for the evenings, maybe? You know, when your young fiery gigolo takes you to the city nightlife on his wild ride."
His amused expression didn't give away that he was in fact pretty serious about taking Natasha out a few times once she felt better. Maybe not to the discos young people preferred, but there were many beautiful beach bars... And also one or two concerts coming up that would make a nice little surprise for her.
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Drawn back to reality, Natasha took another bite of her sandwich and listened to Clint’s assessment. The white one had caught her eye as well; it was very striking, the purest of whites and the shimmering silver. It would match anything.
When Clint mentioned taking her out she gave him a close lipped yet beaming smile despite the food in her mouth. They didn’t really go out on dates, but being here they could go out and do whatever they wanted. They were here to relax and enjoy everything around them, to enjoy life again. Going out for a night sounded wonderful.
“That one is a definite, then,” she said.
Settling on the two Clint had picked and two others of her choosing, Natasha paid the man and added the items to her bag, somehow managing to gracefully balance everything despite having only one free hand. “What else do we need?”
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Clint quickly dodged the expected love tap of Natasha's elbow and motioned her along to the direction of their car. What they still needed was on the way out anyway. He finished the rest of his snack on the way to a certain stand, one he actually thought to remember from a few years ago.
It would just as well have done on a flea market with the wide range of household stuff offered, but all of the things were clean and in very good shape. He had gotten most of his own books for lonely evenings there, in fact. Today the guy behind the counter had brought a various range of different genres again, neatly stapled in several rows to browse through the titles.
Clint was a fairly slow reader and still had a pile of unfinished books at home to choose from later, so he let Natasha look through the offers alone. His own gaze wandered over the other piles of more or less practical stuff, while he was trying to remember if there was anything they still needed.
How he ended up eying a small wicker basket with a lockable door under the counter table, he honestly didn't know. After all, they had dropped the kitty subject, right? No need to look for a price bag or try to remember whether there was a vet in town or if they would have to drive for a while...
"You can have it for ten straight, signore", the dealer told him helpfully, just when he got up from his half kneeling position again, hoping, Natasha hadn't watched him. "For fifteen I'll give you a food and water bowl too. If you need anything else, I can make an order and bring it next week..."
Clint stopped the guy with a denying wave of his hand and rubbed his forehead, sighing. He couldn't shake the feeling that the world was trying to tell him something.
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Following Clint to a stall that was well stocked with used books of every genre, she handed the last quarter of her sandwich to him to finish, not wanting to overdo it. She had eaten enough to satisfy her stomach, and to hopefully set Clint’s mind at ease a little.
There were books in both Italian and English, and she selected a few of both. She wasn’t too sure what she was in the mood to read so she picked out a little of almost everything: an old mystery, a period drama, something funny, a fantasy, and even a cheesy romance novel.
Looking around for Clint, she found him a few paces away looking at something under one of the tables. Taking a few steps toward him, she caught the end of the conversation and noted the unhappy expression on Clint’s face before identifying the travel crate he had been inspecting. The well being of that poor little creature was clearly weighing heavily on his mind despite all his protestations yesterday, and while her fears and concerns lingered, there were much stronger feelings inside that won out.
Shifting her stack of yet unpaid for books to one arm, she lightly touched Clint’s elbow when she approached. “It’s okay,” she said, giving him a soft smile and nodding her head. If they were going to do this then there was no point doing it half assed.
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He had just finished the last of it when Natasha joined him in the conversation with the dealer. She definitely surprised him with that smile of hers after she had been so upset on the subject just a few minutes before. His first assumption apparently had been right: that little black devil had bewitched them both. He still thought, this could be a good thing if done right, though. He would be very mindful of not letting that little creature too much into their life, so the good-bye in the end wouldn't be that hurtful. This was only about coddling the little on up until it could be on its own. Definitely. Nothing else.
Somehow he still had a silly grin plastered on his face when he paid for that damn basket and the two solid metal bowls the dealer sneakily slipped inside before he could protest. Oh well. At least he'd get his peanut bowl back now.
"Was just thinking", he murmured, fighting hard to actively keep his cheeks from blushing. "We can take her for a ride to the vet in the next days. Clean her up a little and all. She'll be healthier without parasites. Oh well. She'll probably scratch my wrists open if I try to put her in there."
"Just leave some goodies and her favorite blanket in there, then she'll go in all by herself", the seller advised him immediately, obviously still hoping for a big deal. "There's special treats especially for young cats, she'll just love it. I have very good relationships with a pet store in Catania. Just give me a list and I'll have it for you in no time..."
"Very thoughtful of you, but she's not our cat..."
Clint threw Natasha a look between amusement and desperation.
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Paying for her books while he took care of the basket, she felt her heart clench a little to hear Clint talk. He was the most considerate, caring man she had ever known, and while he didn’t so easily show that side to others, it was hard to understand how anyone could think poorly of him.
She was going to answer, but before she could the vendor spoke up, clearly still listening in in hopes of suckering them out of more money. Meeting Clint’s eyes she gave him a wink.
“I’m sure we’ll have no troubles with her. I can be very persuasive,” she said to the man, offering the type of smile that made men weak in the knees. “But thank you so much for all of your help.”
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When they finally turned to leave - really, there was no other way to shut the guy up - he stopped them with a short gesture of his hand and rummaged in a basket full of trumpery under his table. Just a moment later, a glittering colorful ball rolled over the table in Natasha's direction, making a quiet jingling noise like from a bell inside as it did.
"Take it, it's yours. She'll love to play with it."
The guy grinned so widely that all of his rather dark and unhealthy teeth were revealed. It was a nice smile, friendly, a little mischievous but all the way good at heart, just the way Clint remembered the spirit of these folks. In some parts of the world, life really hadn't changed at all.
He made sure to return the smile and add a sincere thanks before they finally left the stand behind to get all their goods home. By now the sun was pretty high in the sky, and a day full of lying around and a few good long swims sounded better by the second.
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In the end they had to make excuses and actually start walking away, but even then the man stopped them, ducking down behind his table before they could wave him off and continue on their way. On instinct Natasha reached out to catch the ball when he rolled it toward her. Holding it up she jingled it a little before looking at Clint and then the vendor, and when he told her it was free she actually smiled a little more genuinely.
“Thank you, that’s very sweet. We really appreciate it,” she said, clutching the ball in her hand.
When her and Clint finally got away, she tucked the ball into her bag along with all her other purchases. They spent the trip back in companionable silence, and when Natasha parked out front they shared the load, carrying the various items inside. “Why don’t you get changed while I start putting the food away?” she suggested.
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Clint smiled apologetically at the not exactly small bags with perishable stuff. Somehow it looked like he had more bought stuff for three than two persons. He decided, that could totally be blamed on the heat.
Speaking of it, it was getting definitely too hot in here, so for once he didn't put up much of a show in redressing. The promise of the beach waiting was too inviting. Maybe he did conveniently forget for a moment that he wasn't wearing anything under his pants when he dropped them and leaned over the the dresser to search for a pair of bathing trunks. But really, it wasn't like Natasha hadn't teased him back at the beach, so it was all fair...
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“Were you planning on company, or simply on hibernating inside for the next few weeks?” she teased, glancing through to the living room where he was changing. He wasn’t taking his time like he had at the beach, but he certainly giving her a good view, choosing to undress first and decide what to wear second. Natasha paused in her unpacking to enjoy the show. It was pretty much impossible not to stare for the moment; she still maintained he had the best ass at S.H.I.E.L.D., very firm and what she liked to call ‘biteable’.
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Clint called back over his shoulder without straightening up, a smug grin playing on the corner of his mouth when he caught Natasha staring. After another second of searching through the mess of his clothes, he finally came up with something greyish-black and considerably tight. Just as well suited for swimming as possibly pleasing his partner's eyes. He wriggled his way inside gracefully and went for pants also a little shorter and lighter, fitting the temperatures.
The book he had found on the couch yesterday and a bottle of sun lotion wrapped into a big towel... He was pretty much set. There were plenty of beverage stands and shops opened all the along the beach alleys, so they didn't need to bring their own.
That grin was still plastered on his face when he joined Natasha to help her with the last of grocery Tetris. Which of course demanded brushing her body with his more than once while they were busy with the fridge. Well, maybe Natasha was a little more busy with it, and he was more busy with his lips on her shoulder, but no one was to say, he wasn't helping.
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“If you can cook so well, then why do we order takeout so much when we’re home?” she asked, as if she didn’t believe him.
When Clint joined her to help it should have made the task go quicker, but he was much more interested in getting a taste of her skin before it got covered in sunscreen again. A few times she at least pretended to try to swat him away, but she could feel her skin tingling under his touch and their bath yesterday seemed like ages ago.
“You’re letting all the cold out,” she said as she finally managed to stuff the last item into the fridge. Clint had crowded in behind her so she couldn’t get the door shut, and it was a strange sensation with his body so warm against her back and the chill air from the fridge cooling her front.
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The soft shivers on Natasha's shoulders betrayed her half-hearted protests so Clint ignored them, keeping up his little kisses and bites until she was done with the work and he could wrap his arms around her, pulling her back against him.
"Don't worry. Won't let you get cold", he murmured into her ear.
He honestly meant to just tease her a little, but feeling her body pressed against his like that, could never leave him completely unaffected. Especially now that he paid a little closer attention than before and felt confirmed what his eyes had caught in the morning, that she indeed felt a little softer and fuller in one or the other spot. And he certainly didn't mind... At least once he had to allow his hand to wander upwards, fingertips teasing he undersides of her breasts before he softly cupped one of them, squeezing gently.
Maybe he wasn't doing such a good job with that warming up, because he could swear, her nipples peaked out playfully through the fabric of her clothes... Worried partner that he was, of course he couldn't let that happen and carefully maneuvered her away from the fridge. Just enough to close it before he spun her around his arms and lifted her onto the counter easily to lean in for a passionate kiss.
"Sorry... Had to do that before we go."
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