study_in_scarlet | Dancing in the Dark (for farmboyhawk)

She would have been uncomfortable at the time, and probably would have pushed him away had she known them, but it was also about the same time she was realising that no other man could truly satisfy her anymore. She hadn’t been ready then to accept that anyone could love her, love her and not one of the various personas she put across, and she definitely hadn’t been willing to look too hard at her own feelings. She had thought herself incapable of love, but oh how wrong she had been.

“I think they gave up trying to keep me out eventually,” she said, smiling at him when he kissed her hand.

Back then she would have preferred a lie to the truth he offered now. “At the time I wouldn’t have accepted it,” she admitted, though he clearly knew that anyway. He knew her, and that was how they had eventually gotten to this point. No matter what he felt for her, no matter how early on, he had never pushed her, never asked more from her than she was willing to give. Had he done so they never would have made it, but he let her realise everything in her own time, gave her time to fall in love with him, and more time to accept the fact before ever hinting toward it himself.

“Do you still do that?” she asked with no agenda, just honestly curious. “Think about what you don’t have?”

Edited 2014-03-22 12:19 (UTC)

"No time for that anymore. And well, the one thing that's been in my heart for so long, is sitting right here with me, so..."

He blushed a little again and fled into a few sips of water while he pondered about her question. They had gone such a long way, and he couldn't be any happier than with her finally truly wanting to be with him. In truth, it was probably better not to challenge his lazy Dame Fortune.

"Sure, there are times you look at the normal lives other people live and wonder what that would be like... But I just know I'd go half insane after two months without a real fight for the right thing. Guess you can't get that out of your blood if you're that type of person. As long as they don't put me in the dino museum, I'll do what I can in the field. That doesn't really leave many other options."

And really, what kind of options would there be? Nothing he could truly answer for to himself.

"And let's be honest here, I'd probably suck at having something like a family anyway. I mean, where I come from, they still hold on to that belief, that's the highest achievement a man can get. Build a house, plant a tree and all that crap. But I'd be much too afraid to end up a shitbag like my own old man to think in that direction."

She had never seen Clint so open and honest, not to mention so quick to blush. It was endearing, and Natasha wanting nothing more in that moment than to just pull him into a tight embrace. Instead she squeezed his hand before taking a sip of her own water and giving him chance to recover himself.

She expected that would be it, that he wouldn’t elaborate, so she was surprised when he seemed to speak to exactly how she felt. There were fleeting moments when she wondered what it would be like to be normal, and she had had a small taste of that with Alexei, but she knew that wasn’t the life for her. She got too much thrill from the action, and while she might consider that S.H.I.E.L.D. might not forever be the place for them, she knew she could never go completely straight.

The talk of family, though, never failed to make her feel a little sad, though she never let it show. She barely remembered her own parents, and if Clint’s father were still alive today then it would take a lot of willpower not to visit the man for a little ‘talk’. Neither she nor Clint had had normal or real childhoods, they had both been forced to grow up too fast in their own ways. They didn’t have families, so how could they ever have their own family together? Why would they want to?

“You would never be like him,” she said with complete confidence. “I’m happy with our life how it is,” she continued. “Especially right here, like this.” Not that she would be able to handle all this downtime for any extended period of time, but it was a nice, much needed break.

"Very glad to hear that."

He leaned over the table for a quick, spontaneous kiss. That made it easier to keep on smiling.

They agreed about most of this, but that thing about his father... was something else. There were reasons why he kept away from beer, why he avoided visiting Iowa as much as possible, why he mostly didn't give in to aggression more than necessary even in dire situation with enemies. Some other things maybe were in your blood too, and he would never really live without the fear of them breaking through.

"You still too full to move or should we go see the ocean?"

It was still strange to feel so free. Here they didn’t have to hide who they were or what they mean to each other, and while it was nice and exciting, it was also a little frightening, as the unknown always is.

The moment for confessions passed, and Natasha nodded her head at his question. “I think if I sit still for much longer I may fall asleep right here at the table,” she joked, something that she did more than people gave her credit for. Usually her humour was dry, her quips told in such a flat tone that people missed them completely. “A walk would do us both some good.”

Rising from the table, she hooked her purse over one shoulder and reached for Clint’s hand. “We should thank your friend for his hospitality before we go.”

"Agreed."

After a last short moment of hesitation, Clint let that certain key vanish in a pack pocket of his pants and lead Natasha to the counter then to pay and say good-bye- for the moment... He had no doubt, they would be back.

Turi couldn't resist reminding him of that sea ride again and also let him know in a tone that indicated, he didn't expect him to acknowledge that, that sea urchin fishing was illegal for a few years now. Just in case he had planned on that.

Clint shook his head with an amused grin. Couldn't get it out of them, indeed, and the older they got, the worse it got.

"If I accidentally stumble over a few of them, I'll stop by on the way back."

That seemed to satisfy for the moment, because Turi turned to Natasha now and said good-bye in the traditional Italian way, with sort kisses on her cheek.

"Come back soon, Russian girl."

Natasha stood by quietly as the men conversed before accepting the goodbye from Turi with a warm smile. “I am sure we will be back soon enough,” she said. She wasn’t sure what other little gems Clint planned to take her to while they were here, but she had a feeling this would not be their only visit to this one.

Once back outside, she took her place again behind Clint on the bike, her arms wrapping comfortably around his chest from behind. She couldn’t resist taking the opportunity presented and gave him a brief hug, one cheek pressed against his back for a moment before she was back to attention again and ready for the ride.

When Natasha pressed herself against him, Clint responded with reaching back, caressing her knee, just below the edge of her skirt. He could get used to this whole being close thing, alright. Once they would be back in their real lives, they would have to act more discreet again, of course, but right now he couldn't enjoy it more.

Soon enough though he concentrated on driving again. After all, he had promised her to be safe. And the Italian's idea of road safety was honking a few times before speeding around the next serpentine curve. If you were lucky. He kept it slow, let the young people on their scooters pass him by all the wanted and kept especially close to the edge when a bus outran them, as these were even more crazy.

Soon enough they had reached the beach valleys of Giardini with the narrow peninsular of Naxos reaching out far into a calm, dark blue ocean. Out there, somewhere along the small harbors, Clint planned to at least pay a certain little sea cruiser a short visit, but for today he wanted to take it slow.

He stopped in the next free spot in sight which wasn't hard to find. The parking spaces, all along the waist-high walls between beach and freeway, were half empty. The tourist season was as good as over, it was hard to ignore. Which was just perfect.

They could easily make their way through just a few sun-lovers on of the white pebble beaches. Quickly they had reached one of thee concentration of huge black rocks reaching far out into the water, that shaped the landscape so much. Clint jumped on one of them easily and held back just in time from offering Natasha a hand to help her up. She'd probably have his ass for such chivalry.

"Who makes it to the outer rim first?", he grinned.

When they arrived at their destination Natasha left her shoes near the bike, not really caring if someone decided to steal them or not; she just didn’t want to carry them along as they explored the beach.

The air was so fresh here, so clean compared to the stale, smoggy air of New York, and she took a moment to just breathe it in. She could smell the sea, the beach, and life itself, she was certain of it.

The pebbles beneath her bare feet were warm from the sun and she wiggled her toes before falling into step beside Clint. He seemed to have a destination in mind, and this trip she was content to follow his lead anywhere.

“If you think you will have an advantage because of how I’m dressed, think again,” she said. She was hardly dressed to scale rocks, especially with a purse to worry about, but Natasha was nothing if not resourceful, and she put little stock in appearances. She could be just as effective in a dress as in her familiar catsuit.

Easily scaling the rock to stand beside Clint, she raised her eyebrow at him challengingly before quickly jumping into action.

Natasha fell into the game exactly as he had hoped and he could have kissed her if she hadn't already started.

Soon he wished, he'd have gotten out of his shoes too, as some of the rocks were slippery with seaweed. But well, they hadn't trained him in artistry for nothing. He avoided falling easily, jumping even over big lengths which indeed gave him advantage over Natasha's run one or two times, but in the end she just had speed and a certain agility over him.

He didn't mind. Losing against her wasn't exactly a shameful defeat.

At least he was hardly out of breath when he joined her on the mentioned furthest rows of rocks, where the waves hit high enough to touch the surface and you could spot fish in the water easily. He finally kicked his shoes off to let his feet dangle into the lukewarm water and sat back far enough for Natasha to sit in front of him if she wanted to.

"So... Since you've won, you can make a wish, you know."

He raised an eyebrow at her with a definitely dirty grin, leaving no doubt about where he preferred to fulfill such wishes.

The race was exhilarating, and while the rocks were slippery beneath her feet Natasha moved swiftly and easily over them, her years of training making it a piece of cake. Clint passed her a few times, but she always managed to retake the lead and when all was said and done she ended up at the edge of the rocks, grinning at him when he approached.

Watching him take a seat and get comfortable, she grinned silently at him for a moment before taking a seat beside him and dipping her feet in the water as well. It was nearing the hottest part of the day, and the game left her with a thin sheen of sweat on her brow which she didn’t wipe away, not wanting to also remove her sunscreen.

“A wish?” she said, giving him her most innocent look to deliberately contrast the filthy grin he was giving her. “There are so many things I could wish for. However will I choose?”

"Well, I could suggest a few things, but that would kinda contradict the purpose."

Clint laid back against the warmed surface of the rock, still smiling, with his arms crossed under his head and stared up into the blinding blue sky. They wouldn't be able to stay here forever, not under such a bright sun, but for a few minutes, this was just perfect.

Only salt and warmth on his skin, a few seagulls close by probably debating who got the biggest chunk of their lunch, a boat honking in the distance. It was quiet enough to hear even the children laughing and playing on the beach behind them. They were playing anime stuff and wizards or vampires on their card games nowadays, instead of superheroes or the good old UNO that Barney and him had preferred, but other than that... This was probably the closest to normal he'd ever get.

And it was enough. More than. Because he wasn't alone anymore, seeing others happy and feeling out of place, pondering about his miserable life choices. There were a few things he had done right and the woman by his side had been the best.

He turned his head lazily when the sun stung too much in his eyes and blinked at her, sighing. God, he loved her hair color in the sunshine.

“Oh, I’m sure I can handle the task of coming up with something on my own,” Natasha replied.

Lying down beside Clint, she folded her hands on her stomach and closed her eyes beneath her sunglasses, just relishing in the heat of the sun, the smell in the air, and the joyful sounds around them. She had no idea what the children were playing, not that she would have even if they had been playing the games of Clint’s youth, but their laughter made everything feel so surreal. When she was in the field all she heard were the sounds of screaming and crying, so the laughter seemed to be that final sign that all was well and that they were safe here.

Rolling her head to the side, she opened her eyes to find Clint’s blue eyes staring back at her. “Hi,” she said quietly, just holding his gaze.

There were moments like this when he fell newly in love with just the sound of her voice, with just one little syllable. That low, husky drawl never failed to creep inside of him, stimulating his senses like an intimate touch, even without any real nuance. Beautiful in her rough, intense, special kind of way, just like her face, her body, and God, he needed to stop staring at her.

With a small, helpless laugh, he closed his eyes and tried to get his fluttering heart under control. For heaven's sake, he wasn't a lovesick teenager... He was her partner, her best friend, her lover, everything she needed him to be and she gladly took it. There was no reason to flush like a teenager at the first date.

But that still was how she made him feel, after all these years. Maybe it was just the sun playing in her hair so fascinatingly in this very moment, or their feet accidentally brushing underwater, soft tenderness laced in warm salt. Or the simple fact that they were lying here side by side in a place he sometimes called home and had nowhere to be, nothing to do. Just relax and enjoy.

Whatever it was, he suddenly felt like he would die if he wouldn't roll over to her and kiss her, so he did just that.

When Clint laughed and closed his eyes, Natasha merely smiled and turned her head back toward the sky again. Lying here with him, here, like this... she couldn’t remember a time she had ever felt more at peace. There was always something going n in the back of her mind, some mission to look toward, some past transgression haunting her, but right now she felt none of this. Right now she felt only calm, only loved, only peaceful.

His leg brushed hers underwater, barely a touch but it made her smile, made her stretch out her fingers to his in a touch just as light. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him moving beside her but was unprepared for the sudden kiss, though it didn’t take her long to recover and reciprocate, her hand moving up to cup the back of his head.

She kissed him softly, lazily, just enjoying the moment. His lips, his hair - everywhere she touched him was warm from the sun, and she wanted to wrap herself in that warmth and lose herself in it.

Very careful to not press her into the hard underground, Clint rested on his side, on his arm while his other slipped softly around her waist. Her body was warm, so much softer under his touch than when they were training or doing some fake touching on a mission. His fingertips played over her shoulder until he reached her neck, played a little with her adorably ruffled hair or just softly held her cheek while their lips once more melted into a tight embrace. She tasted a little like wine and and Southern spices, which had him smile against her mouth.

Long minutes passed of just enjoying each other, his body protecting hers from too bright sunshine, until it finally became too uncomfortable on the stones and he carefully pulled her up with him. Thanks to the uneven levels of their little platform he could look straight in their eyes when they were on their feet and made use of that, for several long moments, with his fingertips gently holding her face.

"That's exactly how I always saw you when I sat here alone", he finally said quietly, a last hint of disbelief still shining through his voice. "These are the things I'm taking with me for the next time I get my ass in some torture shit or spend a month sitting on a rooftop."

It felt good to just kiss him with no regard for their surroundings nor time nor anything else that might warn them to stop. HIs fingertips were light on her skin, his kiss gentle, far from their heated liplocks earlier in the tub. It was just touch and taste and pure and utter enjoyment until the hard surface beneath them became a little too uncomfortable.

She let Clint help her to her feet, glad for his arms around her as she was hit with a sudden wave of dizziness. Thankfully it passed quickly and he didn’t seem to notice, too caught up in just gazing into her eyes since they were unusually level with his own.

Resting her hands on his hips, she met his eyes unwaveringly and said nothing, giving him his moment and letting him be the one to break the silence. She didn’t want to think about the future, not right now, not when that future might lead to the things he mentioned.

“Well, for now you get to take me with you, so turn around.” It was a strange request but she knew he would do it, and when he did she climbed easily onto his back in for she believed was referred to as a ‘piggy back ride’.

Love was for children, and every once in a while even the Black Widow could act childish, not that anyone would ever believe it unless they saw it for themselves.

No matter how well Clint knew her, sometimes she still made it to confuse the hell out of him, and this was one of these moments... At least until he suddenly felt her body wrap around his. His instincts reacted before his brains could catch up, commanding his arms to wrap around her legs, hold her safe and tight against him. And just as easily she had him laughing again, shaking his hand and kissing her arm around his neck.

He was surprised, yes, but not as much as he would have been as maybe a few days ago. They had done one or the other childish thing on the weekend and on their way here. And he was one of the few people who had had the pleasure of seeing Natasha show her lighter, carefree side before. When it came up, he never really quite knew, what would be happening, but it always made him happy.

"That's a kind of workout I can live with", he grinned, giving her no time for an answer before he started their way back to the street.

And not exactly much slower than before. Which wasn't much of a challenge with a lightweight like Natasha on his back, but he did have to watch his step. He certainly planned to take her swimming a few times before the temperatures would make it unpleasant, but not fully clothed...

They arrived at the beach safely though, but he made no move to let her down, just continued his way along the beach back to their parking space.

"Still owe you ice cream for desert", he remarked, still grinning. "Is there room again in your stomach?"

For a brief moment Natasha felt foolish, but Clint’s laugh made it worth it. It was not really like her to act like this, but to hear him laugh lately she would do just about anything.

“I’m just trying to help since you were so worried at the restaurant about eating too much,” she teased, unable to even try to hold back her smile. She still felt silly, childish, but if Clint didn’t care then why should she? He certainly seemed up for the challenge, and instead of taking his time getting back to the beach, he moved quickly along as if her extra weight wasn’t a burden at all.

Even when they were back on level ground he didn’t let her back on her feet, instead proceeding to carry her the whole way back to the road where their transport and, surprisingly, her shoes still waited.

“I don’t know...” she said, leaning back from him enough to rub a hand over her bloated belly. “If I eat any more you may have to carry me wherever we go for the rest of the day.”

"While I wouldn't mind that..."

Clint dropped her off gently when they had reached the scooter so she came to sit on it and could put her shoes back on.

"We'll have plenty of time to discover all kind of food in the next weeks."

It surprised him that she let him handle her like that, and not for the first time since yesterday he thought to see that exhausted look around her eyes. He hoped that she wasn't coming down with something, but as long as she didn't say anything, he didn't want to pry. But he decided, they had all time in the world for all kind of excursions too, he decided.

"You know, I think hanging around in a well air conditioned house for the rest of the day sounds really nice."

As good as ice cream sounded, the thought of eating another bite right then made Natasha’s stomach turn a little, so she was glad that Clint didn’t seem to have his heart completely set on the idea, at least not for today.

“Very true,” she said, strapping one shoe around her ankle. “And tomorrow we can always have dessert first so we don’t miss out.”

Once she had both shoes back in place she smiled up at him and patted the seat in front of her for him to take so they could be on their way again. She thought she was playing everything off really well, but when Clint suggested they spend the rest of the day at his house she knew she wasn’t fooling him as well as she had thought. She didn’t want to ruin any plans he had, but if she protested and won, he would only coddle her for the rest of the day, either openly or just watching her whenever he thought she wasn’t looking. She wasn’t sure which would be worse. Either way, if he was willing to let her keep up her charade then she should be relieved and accept the reprieve he was giving her. Tomorrow was another day, and they still had plenty of time to explore.

“It does,” she agreed. “And tomorrow, after the market, we can go to the beach prepared this time to spend the whole day.”

"You think, you'll manage that? Stare at my glorious half naked, water dripping body all day and behave?"

Taking the risk of a jab in the ribs, Clint took his place in front of Natasha again and reached for her hands to wrap them around his waist.

"You'll love the market. Lots of stuff to see."

He smiled back at her warmly, letting her know, it was alright, they had no pressure at all and should make use of that.

Also, cuddling with her on the sofa for a few hours sounded just about perfect right now.

The ride didn't take that long anymore this time - he was getting familiar with the road again - but they were stopped by a not completely unexpected visitor at their front door. Again.

"You..."

Clint sighed and pointed a sharp finger at the kitten lying right at his front porch as if it had all right to.

"I know how to say the word no in thirty different languages. Don't even try."

Resting her chin on his shoulder when he took his seat in front of her, Natasha brought her lips very near to his ear. “Now who said anything about behaving?” she said, giving him a quick nip before leaning back again so they could be on their way.

She was actually quite looking forward to the market. Shopping malls and big box stores had never been her thing, but open air markets always had a sort of feeling about them that she enjoyed. It was easy to get taken in by the cheap knock offs, but there were usually some genuinely well made items to be found, not to mention all the fresh, locally grown produce and home baked goods. “I’m looking forward to it,” she said, knowing he would want to hear it.

It was hard to just sit back and relax. Normally when they had any time away from home it was never more than a few days between the end of the mission and when they had to return, so the concept of just relaxing instead of trying to fill every day with as much as they could was taking a while to set in. Clint had always been more laid back than her, though, and she had no doubt he would make sure she settled down soon enough.

When they reached the house again Natasha couldn’t help but laugh when they found the kitten she had pet earlier waiting for them. “The way you act, one would think you’re allergic to them,” she said, giving Clint a good natured roll of her eyes as she stooped to pick the kitten up. It purred and snuggled against her chest and she could feel her heart softening.

“You can’t come in,” she said to it in Italian as she carried it across the yard to a soft tuft of grass beneath a shady tree. Crouching down again, she set it on the grass and scratched between its ears. “Go find your brothers and sisters, and maybe later I can sneak you out some milk.” This last part was whispered quietly so Clint wouldn’t hear before she got back to her feet and walked back over to the door.

Clint knew he had lost the battle the second Natasha picked up that little furball - again - and smiled in a way she probably wasn't even aware of. They definitely wouldn't get rid of that troublemaker anymore now. Oh well... As long as it stayed outside...

He faked a heavy, suffering sigh as he made his way into his house, mostly to hide his own grin. And here he was already thinking about putting some food out the next morning, just because things that made Natasha happy made him happy. Teenager in love indeed, Barton.

He busied himself in the kitchen until Natasha followed, coming up with new big glasses of water with lemon and ice cubes for refreshment. Sitting them down on the sofa table, he frowned at the suitcases still being mostly in the way.

"You want to sit a little while I take care of that stuff?" Knowing how important it was for her to not feel to not feel babied, he quickly added, grinning: "Unless you have all kind of dirty surprises in your suitcase that I'm not supposed to see. Wouldn't want to ruin the surprise."

Closing the door behind her, she found Clint in the living room and gratefully took the glass he had set out for her and took a long drink of the cool, refreshing water. She wanted nothing more than to sink down onto the rather comfortable looking sofa and not move for an hour, but the reminder of the unpacking they still had yet to do kept her on her feet. She hated living out of a suitcase, and here it would just be a reminder that they would have to go back to reality eventually.

“Well, there are definitely some things in there that I packed especially for you,” she replied. Crossing the distance between them and placing a hand on his chest, she stole a quick kiss. “Let’s just get it over with. It won’t take long, and then we can have the rest of the day to relax.”

She had moved her bag as far as the bedroom earlier, and had started to remove things from it, but her dresses still hung in the bathroom, and it was more a mess around her suitcase instead of it being contained within.

Dancing in the Dark (for farmboyhawk)

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