Dancing in the Dark (for farmboyhawk)

[study_in_scarlet]

They didn’t get a lot of time off together, at least not enough to make a trip away worthwhile, so for this one weekend they decided to stay in the city and play tourist for the day.

They had started with a walk through Central Park before grabbing an early lunch at one of the city’s many street vendors and then wandering through the American Museum of Natural history. Natasha found the Hall of Minerals fascinating while Clint had gotten a kick out of all the dinosaur bones. They both enjoyed laying under the big blue whale with all the normal people.

Afterwards they went to a nice restaurant for supper, blending into the crowd of normal couples as best they could and Natasha actually forgot if she was playing a role or being herself as they finished their wine and shared their desserts.

“Thank you,” she said sincerely as they left the restaurant, stepping back into the cool night air. Nearby a busker played guitar and sang with surprising melody and soul, barely seeming to notice as people threw change into his open case, so caught up was he in his music.


Comments

[farmboyhawk]

"You just know how to keep me in shape."

Chuckling, Clint helped her arrange the various parts of their diner onto their plates in equal shares and started to dig in with little grace and patience then. It was a relict of his childhood and later, of years spent on the street. He could do courtly and luxury restaurants if he had to - though frankly the rich guy wasn't his favorite cover - but in his spare time, he always was quick with his food. Like it would be gone if he did take his time. Some things just kind of stuck. One of these days Natasha would call him a caveman for it, he was sure.

At least he thought of pouring them both a glass of wine before he started, and there was also a carafe with water on the table. Drinking much tonight definitely wasn't a good idea with all that trouble waiting tomorrow. Fury was a pain in the ass to deal without a hangover as it was.

[study_in_scarlet]

“Don’t worry, we can work it off later,” she said with a grin.

Setting the containers aside once the food was divvied up, Natasha removed her chopsticks from the package and broke them apart. She was pretty much an expert at using them by now, but she had barely gotten one bite in before Clint had at least a quarter of his plate cleared. Life had taught him to eat when he could, to not give anyone a chance to take it away, while Natasha had been trained to be delicate and to look alluring and attractive, even while eating. Of course this was training that Clint made it easy to brush aside, and when she looked over to see him shoveling his food into his mouth she grinned before taking a much larger and ungraceful bite herself.

Fixing her eyes on the screen, she delighted in the opening credit sequence. No matter how the rest of the movies turned out, the opening credits were always a good watch.

[farmboyhawk]

When Clint caught Natasha's grin, his cheeks once took a very interesting color and he at least tried to slow down a little and turn his gaze to the screen. Though he had to admit, she looked cute with a bit of sweet and sour sauce on her chin... Not that he would ever tell her that.

"Sorry. If it gets too much, you can just put a collar on me and walk me around the house, deal?"

Very fitting. They were just watching the hero get tortured by the hot dominatrix in the uniform and the hooker boots.

"Why is it always the evil chick, though? They should hire a dominant guy in leather and fishnets for once for these scenes. Pretty sure that would freak out the guy much more."

[study_in_scarlet]

“As punishment for your eating habits, or just for fun?” she teased, popping a piece of broccoli into her mouth and giving him a wide but close lipped smile. She noticed that he at least wasn’t inhaling his food anymore, not that she minded. He was just fun to tease.

Taking a sip of wine, she settled in to watch the movie before throwing Clint a look for his comment, one eyebrow perfectly arched. “Because the target audience for these movies would be just as freaked out. At least half of them watch these films solely for the women,” she said. For a lot of viewers the Bond Girls were a big part of the attraction. “Would you prefer it with a man instead?”

[farmboyhawk]

"I'm clearly not the target audience then. I enjoy the silliness of the stories and the action."

Shrugging, Clint sucked a little bit of sauce off his thumb and cringed at the very unpleasant pictures of water torture. Yep, definitely a good thing they were off to warm realms for a while.

"Just saying, would be kind of interesting to see the incarnation of Don Juan confronted with a guy in a sexual situation. Then the greenhorns at the academy would at least have some reference material. They don't exactly teach you how to handle a situation like that before you get to seduce the rich guy."

He made a little more show than necessary of shuddering to keep it light. He had been lucky with that kind of stuff, really, since he was mostly on his sniper post. But that night club in Budapest - long before shit had really hit the fan there - wasn't exactly his most pleasant mission memory.

[study_in_scarlet]

The silliness and the action were the only reason Natasha bothered with these films at all... well, that and the fact that Clint loved them. Really, if they took themselves too seriously they wouldn’t be nearly as enjoyable.

Chewing thoughtfully on a mouthful of noodles, she regarded Clint as he spoke, reading between the lines as only she could with him. He was still trying to keep the tone light, a tone she was hoping they could keep with for the evening, so she turned her attention back to the screen again. “I doubt the filmmakers would ever have the balls. Although there was that one scene in the newest movie.”

Clint was more sniper than spy, just like Natasha was more spy than soldier, but sometimes their specialities crossed over. It hadn’t been the same since New York, though. Not any of it. The more time passed the more excited she was getting about the prospect of leaving tomorrow. At first it had been all about Clint, but she found herself looking forward to it more and more herself.

“Maybe I should have packed my fishnets and leather,” she said casually, rolling a breaded chicken ball around in the sweet and sour sauce. Turning her head to look at Clint again she popped the entire thing into her mouth and grinned at him. Only for him did she ever let her silly side out. To everyone else it was pretty much nonexistent.

[farmboyhawk]

"Well, remind me to put that one in next. Maybe I can learn a few things."

Clint nearly sputtered his wine at her last teasing and shook his head with a laugh.

"You're more the corset and gloves type to me. But you know me..."

Within two seconds he was from joking to serious, from teasing to tender, reaching out to caress her knee.

"You'll drive me crazy anytime, no matter what you look like."

[study_in_scarlet]

The corset she could definitely do; she even had a pretty little purple and black number she had bought just for Clint.

When he got all sweet and tender on her she leaned over and gave him a quick peck on his cheek, unable to do much else with her mouth full. Setting her chopsticks down she placed her hand over his and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“I’m glad you feel that way,” she said after she swallowed. “Because you know what vacations are for. I may go days without showering and wearing make-up. I might not even brush my hair.”

[farmboyhawk]

"I think, you look lovely without make up and all."

This time he made it without blushing at least, and showed her with a quick kiss on her hand that he actually meant it. Then he was all over his food again, though. Some habits were hard to ignore.

He still meant it. On the screen there were people like Madonna, Halle Berry and Rosamund Pike doing their thing, and if he was asked, he would always be able to say honestly, there was just one woman that he truly felt attracted to.

[study_in_scarlet]

Many people said such a thing to women, whether they meant it or not, but with Clint she knew he meant it. She actually hadn’t worn a spot of make-up all day, she hadn’t seen much point when she knew they would just go an mess it up again, but he still looked at her like she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life.

“Well good, because I didn’t pack much of it,” she said, smiling softly when he kissed her hand like a perfect gentleman. Then he started devouring his food again and her smile widened a little before she tucked into her own.

Honestly, she really didn't get the attraction to James Bond. Sure, he was smooth and charming, and a lot of people enjoyed the accent, but she had met enough men in her life like him who thought they were amazing and that no woman could resist them. On the screen no woman did, but Natasha knew a man like that would never stand a chance with her.

[farmboyhawk]

The next time Clint nearly sputtered the little rest of his food was the oh so famous beach scene. He once had overheard some team mates on the way to a mission talk about it. The two greenhorns had been especially... impressed with Halle Berry's performance and made that known in very fiery, detailed descriptions. Apparently Clint was a very rare abnormality of his species. He hardly could stop laughing when the girl got out of the water.

"Why don't you ever do that for me?", he grinned at Natasha, not the least serious. "Seems we're doing our job wrong all the time. We should do some training once we arrive."

[study_in_scarlet]

Glancing over at Clint when he almost choked on his food, Natasha looked back at the screen then raised an eyebrow at him. He was a red blooded male, she wasn’t surprised that he would enjoy that scene as much as everyone else seemed to, except he seemed to be enjoying it a little too much and in an entirely different way. He was laughing.

Definitely a keeper, he was.

“Because when I do that,” she replied, gesturing toward the screen with her chopsticks, “you’re not the target.” She tried to keep the amused expression off of her face, but it was impossible when he was grinning at her like that. “Are you suggesting we forget our current training and subscribe to the double-oh-seven school of spy work?” It would actually be pretty entertaining to try to emulate these films sometime. She feigned thoughtfulness. “I suppose we could start with that scene, since there will be beaches where we’re going, right?”

[farmboyhawk]

"Many very beautiful ones. And hey, come on, working for M can't be half as bad as answering to Fury."

Still chuckling, Clint put his empty plate away and sipped at his wine instead. God, he definitely needed a vacation. Working for anyone but these asshats in the council sounded definitely too tempting right now.

Fortunately he was soon enough distracted by the inevitable love scene on screen. Well, that was one setting he definitely planned on copying on their holidays... Among other things. He got lost a little, imagining both of them in that little house, relaxing over some good food while they watched the waves roll below. His hand had sneaked its way on Natasha's leg again purely on instinct, harmlessly caressing, and a little he actually felt like they were already gone.

[study_in_scarlet]

“Hmm, I suppose you have a point,” she conceded, watching Clint set aside his empty plate before returning to her own food. In Natasha’s opinion Fury was rarely the problem. It was true that she never fully trusted him, but then she never fully trusted anyone besides Clint, but Fury did have their backs more often than not. The problem was the Council. He could only stand up to them so often.

If every day of their vacation ended the way Bond’s did then Natasha certainly wouldn’t argue, and knowing the two of them they likely would. Since finally admitting that they wanted to give this relationship thing a try, and with so much time spent apart or busy due to their jobs, they were pretty insatiable when they got a bit of time like this, completely alone and free to do whatever they wanted. It didn’t mean they couldn’t spend the day together innocently, but why deny themselves when night fell and they were alone?

Natasha smirked a little to herself when Clint caressed her leg, but she neither pushed him away nor encouraged him. She simply finished off her food and set her own plate aside before snatching up the wine glass and settling back against the sofa. “I wonder if Bond ever meets a woman who isn’t willing to fuck him after knowing him for thirty seconds,” she mused, resting her head on Clint’s shoulder.

[farmboyhawk]

"Poor guy. Probably would jump the next cliff."

Clint wrapped his arm around her waist and sneaked his hand into the pocket of her - his - sweater to rest it closer against her belly.

From tropical islands it was pretty soon to ice dunes on the screen and he couldn't help but admire the shots of eternal snow, even though he knew that wouldn't be his preferred destination right now.

"Iceland... That's one place I've never ended up in", he murmured. "Looks beautiful. If I find clothes that actually keep me warm for longer than few hours... They say it's beautiful on horseback."

Well, he'd probably have to take a few lessons before because the last time he had been on horse, had been Budapest... But it definitely sounded like one of these things you wanted to do before you grew old.

[study_in_scarlet]

“Mm, yes. It would be quite an identity crisis for him. A harsh blow, and not the kind he is used to,” Natasha replied, grinning against the rim of her wine glass. When Clint slipped his arm around her she snuggled closer to his side, enjoying the closeness and the warmth that radiated off of him.

While Clint was all about hot sand, Natasha loved the snow. It was one of the differences they both respected in each other, and she knew that if this vacation worked out well for them that next time (because there would be a next time) Clint would easily concede to somewhere colder if that was what she wanted.

“It is,” she confirmed. “It’s not as cold there as people think, nor as snowy.”

[farmboyhawk]

"Good to know. Guess we could just wander and ride around for a while when the next chance comes up", Clint mused. "Cut off from everything, just silence and nature..."

His fingertips gently caressed her stomach through the thin layer of fabric between them, and the smile, though clearly melancholic, never left his lips.

"It feels good, you know... just talking about all this."

His lips shortly grazed her temple before he pulled her closer to his side, once more drowning in her warmth and nearness.

"Just being normal from time to time..."

[study_in_scarlet]

“I like the sound of that,” Natasha said, taking another sip of wine. Just traveling around with Clint, removed from the rest of the world... it was something she could get used to, at least for a little while. Sometimes Natasha enjoyed the hustle and bustle of the city, but more often than not the preferred to be removed, someone secluded and quiet where she could relax and be alone. She could make an exception for Clint, though, as the more time she spent with him the more she thought being completely alone wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

The more Clint spoke the more Natasha wondered how temporary he wanted this vacation to be. She hoped that time away would help him heal, help him find some closure so maybe he could stop blaming himself at every turn. She hoped some time off woul make him realise his true purpose an make him want to return and get back to what they both knew he was good at, but what if it had the opposite effect? What if he never wanted to go back?

“We definitely don’t get enough time off,” she agreed, restraining herself from asking the question of if that was what he wanted, a normal life.

[farmboyhawk]

"Guess I'll just have to stand up for myself more. Before New Mexico, I haven't been on a vacation for years. Can't go on like that. I'm tired, Tash'."

Clint let his lips rest against her temple again, longer this time. With the beloved scent of her hair in his nose and her smooth skin against his it was easier to talk about these things, to talk about weaknesses, knowing there was someone who didn't judge him for it.

"I know where I can do most good, so that's something I won't quit if they don't kick me out. But I can't only live for this anymore. Yesterday and today... We didn't even do anything fancy, yet I haven't felt that alive in quite a long time."

[study_in_scarlet]

Draining her glass, Natasha set it on the other side of the sofa, not wanting to move enough to reach the coffee table. She knew Clint's work habits, could probably count on one hand the number of times he'd had more than two days off together since she'd known him. He had given S.H.I.E.L.D. everything, and it was about time he took his life back, if only for a while.

"I know," she said softly. Resting her hand on his thigh she rubbed his leg comfortingly.

They had fallen into a trap, a routine, and it was hard to get out of, but could she really blame him for wanting more? He wasn't like her, he hadn't been trained from an early age to do as he was told and never want anything for himself. It was all she knew, whether it was for the Red Room or for S.H.I.E.L.D., all she had ever known was how to follow orders and live for her job.

Clint was right, though. This weekend had changed things, not just between them, but maybe everything. Maybe it was time she stepped out of her own comfort zone. Maybe it was time she tried to discover what it was really like to live.

"This weekend meant a lot to me too," she admitted quietly, tilting her head to look up at him. "Clint, I... I've never done normal. I'm not sure I know how."

[farmboyhawk]

"You're doing pretty great so far."

Clint put his own glass away and turned all the way to her, softly placing his hand on her cheek.

"Who defines what's normal? As long as you're only doing what makes you feel good and comfortable with me, that's all I can ask for. I don't think, either of us would be really good at conventional, to be honest. Just... try to relax. Feel. Enjoy. That's all I ever wish from you, okay? Being happy with me."

[study_in_scarlet]

When Clint moved away enough to turn to face her, Natasha moved her glass from the couch to the table and turned toward him as well. She leaned into his touch, her own hand going back to his leg and her eyes never leaving his for a moment.

Maybe she didn’t really understand normal, but she did know what felt good; it was something else Clint had taught her over the years. Her life had never been about what she wanted or what she enjoyed until he had stepped into it and shown her that she could make her own choices. He had helped her discover who she really was, and for that she would always owe him.

“I am happy with you,” she said, smiling softly at him. “There is nowhere else I would rather be than here with you.”

[farmboyhawk]

Clint didn't really have anything wise to say to that, so he just leaned over and kissed her instead, short but with the greatest tenderness he was capable of.

Now that he was so close, he couldn't resist wiping that little rest of sauce from the corner of Natasha's mouth, with a quiet chuckle.

"My caveman manners are intoxicating, I think. I kind of like that."

[study_in_scarlet]

The kiss was the perfect answer, and Natasha closed her eyes and melted into his touch. When he pulled away and wiped a bit of sauce from her face that she hadn’t noticed was there, she caught his hand between hers.

“You just like the idea of rubbing off on me,” she said, smirking a little before bringing his thumb to her lips so she could suck the spot of sauce from his skin. Of course she did so in the most deliberate way possible, though her face was a mask of innocence when she was done. “We’re missing the film...”

[farmboyhawk]

"Yep, we do. Can't have that."

Grinning, Clint swept her into his arms to lie back comfortably on the sofa. No one said, a little spooning during a nice movie wasn't for master assassins, right? Perfect chance for him to have his face close to her neck and place a few kisses there from time to time while his hands gently caressed her stomach and side. Of course it was complete coincidence that on screen Bond and Rosamund Pike were just getting in on in the middle of a frozen room.

"Nice interior", he remarked, feigning seriousness.