study_in_scarlet | Dancing in the Dark (for farmboyhawk)

They didn’t get a lot of time off together, at least not enough to make a trip away worthwhile, so for this one weekend they decided to stay in the city and play tourist for the day.

They had started with a walk through Central Park before grabbing an early lunch at one of the city’s many street vendors and then wandering through the American Museum of Natural history. Natasha found the Hall of Minerals fascinating while Clint had gotten a kick out of all the dinosaur bones. They both enjoyed laying under the big blue whale with all the normal people.

Afterwards they went to a nice restaurant for supper, blending into the crowd of normal couples as best they could and Natasha actually forgot if she was playing a role or being herself as they finished their wine and shared their desserts.

“Thank you,” she said sincerely as they left the restaurant, stepping back into the cool night air. Nearby a busker played guitar and sang with surprising melody and soul, barely seeming to notice as people threw change into his open case, so caught up was he in his music. 

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"We probably should make a list or something."
Clint laid back on the mattress after putting the tray down to the floor and folded his arms under his head, trying to put together what they would actually need in a sufficiently furnished but not exactly stocked house. The situation didn't fail to amuse.
"Not so good with that kind of stuff, in spite of flying around the world and shit. I've never exactly gone on a holiday. Always came all with the missions. It's been either having nothing or having most shit provided, ever since I was a kid. Hence why I always miss half of the stuff I need, when I'm around here longer. I'll be the perfect tourist."

Finishing her coffee, Natasha set aside the mug and lay back down. Turning on her side to face Clint, she pulled the covers up over her chest and propped her head on her hand.

“Anything we forget we can always get there,” she said, a soft smile on her lips. Clint seemed genuinely excited about this trip, and she found herself looking more and more forward to it by the moment. It really did seem to be just what they needed right now. “But I can worry about figuring out what we need if you want to think about what we might want that won’t be as easily accessible there.”

"Um... Yeah, totally. I mean, I'll think about it."

Clint really tried but somehow his eyes were lingering on that certain spot that Natasha had just covered up and he pouted a little.

"Now I can come up with the PG rated stuff at least. Have to say, I just got used to it a little..."

The way Clint stumbled over his words was rather endearing, and Natasha couldn’t help but smile when she caught him pouting. In many ways he was still a child, but perhaps the same could be said for her when she was with him. She definitely felt freer, that was for certain.

“You got used to us being PG rated?” she asked, not quite certain what he meant. This weekend, at least, had already been everything but. “We can always go back to that, you know.” There was a teasing edge to her voice, though she was curious as to what he was getting at.

"Nope, I mean, I just got used to that perfect view you took so cruelly from me."

He caught her smiling and tried it with another sulking grimace.

"I guess I'll have to think of all kind of boring stuff to pack now, instead of the hot toys I was planning to get for our little trip..."

When Clint clarified what he had meant, Natasha just barely kept herself from laughing. Lifting the sheet a little she peered down it at herself before her eyes turned back to Clint and she held the covers back in place again. His expression was priceless.

“Hot toys, hmm?” she said, raising one eyebrow and toying with the edge of the sheet. “I suppose we could probably work out some kind of deal...” It was entirely possible Clint could be joking, but after last night Natasha wasn’t so sure. If he did have some... creative ideas, then she was definitely interested in hearing them.

"So we are going into aggressive negotiations now?"

With a mischievous glint in his eyes, Clint plucked the sheet downwards, using only his teeth, just a little bit, to reveal the beautiful curves of her breasts.

"Well, since it's the end of autumn, it will be a little cooler than in Summer, where we're going. You'll need a few scarfs and shawls for the mornings and evenings. Would be a shame not to put them to good use at night..."

Natasha chuckled at Clint’s playful behaviour, and even less than half-heartedly swatted at him. “Seems that way.”

The sheet was certainly no challenge, he had removed clothing with just his teeth and with just as little trouble. She was pretty sure that every part of his body was talented and he knew just how to use them.

“Is that so...” she responded to his explanation. Restraints of any sort were something she had used before, but not something she had ever allowed to be used on her. She had never trusted anyone enough before, never wanted to give anyone such power over her. This trip would be about healing, about moving forward, but there would be much more to it. By the time they returned their bond would be unbreakable, and god help anyone who tried. "What else?"

Clint put up another pout when he was stopped from his game with the mattress and folded his arms over her legs instead, his chin resting on top as he watched her with a slow, smug grin.

After last night... he didn't have restrictions about certain subjects anymore, not with Natasha. They had learned pretty well how to talk about as good as everything by now, and he trusted her in telling him no to whatever wouldn't be in her liking.

"Well, I was thinking... If I am going to spoil you for a day here and there, I want to make our nights really good for you. Might want to think of some arrangements to keep me ready for you the whole time... Because you know, I really can't promise anything if you're as fucking hot as last night."

Clint surprisingly gave up quite easily, though from his grin Natasha was sure he wasn’t done with her. Even if she spurned his advances, he could always get her with his words.

Last night, before she had made an offer he couldn’t refuse, he had been ready and willing to ignore his own needs to give her continuous pleasure, barely even pausing to let her breath in between, no matter how uncomfortable he had been. Apparently that was not a one time thing, and she actually felt goosebumps over her skin as she thought about all the possibilities.

“Well I can’t really help it,” she teased. “You know one of these days I’m going to have to return the favour...”

"No objections. Whenever you're ready, red."

Only the way, Clint's hand reached out softly for her leg above the covers, caressing her thigh, her knee, let her know he meant it in more than one way.

Though he still felt more lazy than up to anything necessary, he pushed himself up on his arms to lean in for a slow, tentative kiss. The lingering taste of chocolate made him chuckle and explore her mouth a bit more thorough than planned until they were both breathing faster.

Whenever she was ready, that was how they worked. Their whole relationships depended on her timeline and comfort level; Clint never pushed, never asked too much, never asked anything, really. It was unbalanced in some ways, but Natasha thought that they had finally reached a point that it was evening out. He deserved it, deserved so much more, so much better than she had given him in the past, and it was about time she made up for that.

Melting into the kiss she forgot their earlier game and let go of the sheet to cup the back of his neck instead. He tasted of chocolate and coffee and she felt the chuckle reverberate through her.

Breathing heavily when they finally broke apart, she grinned widely. “If we keep this up we won’t get anything done all day.”

"Good thing you're reasonable enough for both of us."

With a heavy sigh, as if he was taking off to an especially difficult mission, Clint finally stood up and made his way to the bathroom, again with that little swaying of his hips to tease Natasha further.

"So, are we being good tourists again and take the subway?"

He grinned through the half open bath room door while he got out of his pants again and turned the shower on, waiting for the right temperature. He had had enough of freezing for one day.

“Believe me, you don’t make it easy,” she replied. Boy, was that true. The urge to burrow back under the covers and stay in bed all day was so tempting, but if they were going to make this vacation a reality there were things they needed to do. There was always tomorrow.

Sitting up again, Natasha watched Clint walk away, just as he wanted her to; he could be really ridiculous sometimes, but that was just one of the many things she loved about him.

“Isn’t that the only way to travel in New York?” she called back when the running water threatened to drown out her voice. It was so tempting to get up and join him, but she knew where that would lead... which certainly didn’t help it from being extra tempting. She had no clean clothes to change into, though, so it would make more sense to wait until she got back to her own place to shower, unless Clint didn’t mind her borrowing something and going commando. She highly doubted he would, really. “We should go to my place first so I can change and pack a bag, unless you want to do your own errands and meet back here later.”

Clint took just a few quick minutes to get something like daylight suitable before he returned to the bedroom with nothing more than a few drops of water on his body to search through his cabinet.

"Here, this should do for the way."

He laid out a pair of black pants and a plain white shirt for Natasha, never losing that mischievous little grin on his lips.

"Nothing much to do, just one or two e-mails to a caretaker while I'm away. Can do that in the subway. Gladly coming home with you if you don't mind."

He hadn't seen her place in quite a while and was a bit curious.

They had both certainly learned how to get quick showers when necessary, and thankfully Clint had used that method this morning, in and out before Natasha could finish her internal debate of whether to join him or not. That didn’t mean he was above teasing her, though; in fact he seemed to be in a rather exceptional mood, and it was certainly infectious. She wondered if he felt lighter having the weight he had been carrying around finally lifted by sharing with her.

She watched her saunter back into the room, completely naked, and he seemed in no rush to get dressed either. He was a beautiful specimen if she’d ever saw one and Natasha openly watched him, drinking in every inch of tanned skin. As if he had read her mind earlier he laid out a change of clothes for her before turning back to his wardrobe, giving her a perfect view of his ass. It was so delectable she could just bite it.

Well, two could play at that.

“That’s fine,” she agreed, pushing the covers aside and shifting to the side of the bed. Swinging her feet over to touch the floor she stretched her arms high over her head and arched her back with a soft groan as she worked out the kinks. “I’ll need a shower when I get there, so you’ll have to find some way to amuse yourself.”

"I think I'll find something to look at."

Peering back over his shoulder with a smug grin, Clint left no doubt what he meant, appreciating the view for a few exciting seconds before he finally got some clothes on.

Enough stalling. Sooner or later they did need to leave the house and running from it wouldn't make things better. He could have suggested taking a cab, just to spare Natasha the not quite entertaining experience of being in a crowded reduced space with him... But well, what was the worst that could happen? He had told her last night more about his fears and nightmares than in the whole months before.

Also, it was Sunday and vehicles shouldn't be as full as on a weekday. No reason to already leave with all defense shields up.

"All good to go here."
He ruffled through his hair with both hands once for good measure and looked back at her, still with that grin on his lips though it did look a little strained now.

Natasha grinned in return before playtime was finally over. If they could make this work, and Natasha was determined that they would, then they would have plenty of time to laze their days away once they got out of the country.

Pushing herself lazily to her feet, Natasha stretched again before gathering up the clothes Clint had laid out for her. He was already dressed before she stepped up into his personal space again to ruffle her own fingers through his hair and give him a quick peck on the lips. “Do you have a hat or an elastic I can borrow as well?” she asked as she slipped away to the bathroom, paying him back by swaying her hips just the same as she went. Using the washroom and getting a quick cleanup, she located her bra in the scattered clothes from last night and quickly dressed.

“And a belt?” she added as she reemerged dressed in his clothing.

"Well, personally I wouldn't mind at all if you left like that..."

There just was something undeniably sexy about her wearing his stuff, he just couldn't help but stare for a moment, grinning from ear to ear. He quickly went to his bureau before she could get the idea of throwing a pillow at him and came up with a fluffy black elastic she had once forgotten here after an undercover observation in an exclusive ballroom.

"You'll set a new trend, I'm sure."

He couldn't help but tease her a little when he gave her both of the items in need, stepping in just close enough to lower his head to her neck, where there was still a certain bruise darkening her skin.

"As much as I love how you look, maybe I should give you a scarf too", he murmured against her skin, interrupted by small kisses.

“You mean looking like I’ve just had a good, long, hard fuck? Of course you wouldn’t,” she replied, shaking her head and rolling her eyes, but the effect was ruined by the grin she couldn’t quite shake, and didn’t really want to. “Not that these things will help much.” His pants sat low on her hips, so the belt would at least keep them up, but tying her hair back would do little to disguise the mess it was in.

She was a little surprise when he found the elastic, something she swore she hadn’t seen in a few years but that he had apparently kept and knew where to locate. “Oh yes, boyfriend chic will be all the rage,” she said, taking the items. Slipping the elastic over her wrist for now she focused on the belt, a task Clint wasn’t making easy on her. Normally she would be less than pleased that he had left a mark on her somewhere visible, but she couldn’t bring herself to regret anything from last night. Catching her lip between her teeth when he started teasing her with brief kisses, she stepped just a little closer. As she worked the belt into the first belt loop her hands were at just the right level to ‘accidentally’ nudge him somewhere rather sensitive. “Okay, but I draw the line at wearing your shoes.”

"Tease."

Clint hissed quietly through his teeth and forced himself to step back or they would never have made it out of here.

"Hey, you don't need to. We can try cover your neck with the collar of your jacket. But I will not be responsible for any accidents."

Somewhere from the back of his bureau, where a good part of his undercover stuff was waiting, he brought up a quite thin, narrow black scarf, a little more fitting for a woman than the rough cord stuff he preferred. He stepped behind her while she was still busy and pretended for just a second to place it over her eyes, just to play a little more, before he wrapped it around her neck.

"Perfect as usual."

Chuckling when Clint stepped away, Natasha threaded the belt through the remaining loops and cinched the pants tighter, adjusting them on her hips. “Well, I would hate to make anyone jealous. Might be best to cover up.”

Gathering her hair up off her neck, Natasha tried to smooth the top down into something at least halfway presentable. Her breath hitched the slightest bit when he placed the scarf over her eyes, but she smiled when he wrapped it around her neck. Securing the elastic in her hair, she turned to face him, resting her hands on his shoulders.

“Hardly,” she said, giving him one last quick kiss before stepping away, not daring to linger. In all honesty there was something very alluring about her current getup, even despite the messy hair. “We should probably get going. The sooner we can go, the sooner we can get back.”

"Here we go with the reason again."

After another unwilling sigh, Clint lead the way to the door because well... One of them had to.

The next subway station wasn't far from his house and he tried not to linger... But he could feel the tension return to his shoulders that had nearly fallen off completely last night, with every step more. Subway meant people. People meant potential trouble.

He kept his eyes mostly on the dull greyness of the concrete and let his instinct take over, to choose a quiet corner between the waste bins and the information boards once they were down in the station.

Maybe he should just get a car again.

Natasha could tell that the moment they left the house Clint’s mood shifted again. Gone was the carefree, playful one of only moments ago, and she could practically feeling him withdrawing, trying to shrink away from everything.

At first she gave him space, not wanting to crowd him, but once they were in the subway station and he practically crammed himself in the smallest space he could find, she knew this wasn’t something to ignore She had let it go for far too long, hadn’t seen how bad he was, hadn’t let herself see. That was over now, from now on he was her top priority.

Moving in close to him, she silently reached for his hand, just holding it for a long moment before finally speaking. “Why don’t we go get a cab instead,” she offered. “Take the scenic route.”

"Done that for quite a while", he answered quietly, because really, what use was it to lie to her? He didn't want that, not after last night. If she put her trust in him like that, he couldn't go on excluding her from his own problems.

"Not exactly the cheapest way to travel, though, and you know. My hidden reserves and all have mostly be eaten by tech to destroy the planet. Sometimes it gets better, then I'll walk the streets for weeks like I used to and I think I'm over it. Then I pass by another memorial... Or I meet an agent on home base whom I used to catch bullets for and who suddenly doesn't know me anymore. And it's all right back to the start. It will never stop, Tash'. And running from it doesn't make it better."

He pressed her hand weakly, thankful for her support. It also helped not rubbing that one spot on his wrist where a faint throbbing of memory wants to kick in, from another of these not so pleasant meetings on the Helicarrier. She didn't know about that one, no one did. He didn't want anyone to.

He shoved his other hand deep down in his pocket instead, his sight locked on the arrival board, counting the minutes left until the train would arrive.

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Natasha Romanoff | The Black Widow

September 2020

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