Dancing in the Dark (for farmboyhawk)

[study_in_scarlet]

They didn’t get a lot of time off together, at least not enough to make a trip away worthwhile, so for this one weekend they decided to stay in the city and play tourist for the day.

They had started with a walk through Central Park before grabbing an early lunch at one of the city’s many street vendors and then wandering through the American Museum of Natural history. Natasha found the Hall of Minerals fascinating while Clint had gotten a kick out of all the dinosaur bones. They both enjoyed laying under the big blue whale with all the normal people.

Afterwards they went to a nice restaurant for supper, blending into the crowd of normal couples as best they could and Natasha actually forgot if she was playing a role or being herself as they finished their wine and shared their desserts.

“Thank you,” she said sincerely as they left the restaurant, stepping back into the cool night air. Nearby a busker played guitar and sang with surprising melody and soul, barely seeming to notice as people threw change into his open case, so caught up was he in his music.


Comments

[farmboyhawk]

"I believe, that's called bribery", he chuckled, not even making the smallest move to let go off her. The hell he would complain about such a comfortable beautiful cover warming him for the rest of the night.

"Just wake me, should it get uneasy."

No, as much as he tried, he couldn't completely get that worry out of his head that he might leash out in the wrong direction in a weak moment, but at least he had the reassurance now that she would take care of herself.
It made it easier to close his eyes, after a last kiss onto her forehead, and try slip into a light kind of meditation that would allow him to fall asleep easier.

[study_in_scarlet]

“Don’t think of it as bribery so much as an incentive,” Natasha replied, smiling wider at the chuckle in his voice. She knew things couldn’t be smoothed over so easily every time, that there would be times when the darkness was harder to banish, but for now she wasn’t going to argue and just accept this blessing.

“I will,” she promised. Turning her head she settled it against his shoulder again, one hand drifting lazily up and down his arm. She had always loved his arms; even before, even in the beginning she had been able to appreciate them, and now they were definitely one of her favourite attributes.

Listening carefully to his breathing, even if he drifted off she was content to stay awake, to make sure she kept her promise. It would take some time to get used to sleeping like this, but it was a pleasant prospect that she was looking forward to.

[farmboyhawk]

It was one of the dark ones again, one of those he hated most, when Natasha was involved, but this time he realized early enough he was dreaming. With some effort made it to turn away in time, before the screaming and bleeding could start.
He could still feel her press against his body, naked and warm, and part of his clouded mind realized, that was real. So he allowed his mind to dwell there, hands softly, slightly clumsily in his drowsy state caressing her back while she smiled at him.

They were talking, he couldn't quite make out the words. His hearing implants probably were off. He didn't need to hear. She had told him yesterday what he had longed for all the time, and he had already memorized these few syllables on her beautiful full lips.

It wasn't until the shot fell and she collapsed in his arms, lifelessly, that he realized his subconsciousness had played another evil trick on him.


At least he managed to tear himself awake immediately this time, breath racing through his chest in harsh, short gasps, his arms still closed tightly around her body. He was awake, no disorientation this time, no irrational fear. Just his eyes burning with the last remains of the dream as he buried his face against her neck just like so often last evening and tried to forget.

[study_in_scarlet]

His warmth, his steady heartbeat, the even rise and fall of his chest; they all worked to lull Natasha into a state that wasn’t quite sleeping, but much more relaxed than normal. Ultimately she stayed awake, though, determined to keep her promise, and to be there if Clint needed her, as soon as he needed her. She hoped he wouldn’t, that he could sleep soundly and dreamlessly this time.

Unfortunately that wasn’t to be.

She noticed it first in the increase in his heartbeat, then the tightening of his arms around her before he suddenly awoke, gasping for breath.

“Shh, it’s okay,” she soothed, her lips close to his ear, hand moving up to stroke through his hair. “I’m right here. Everything’s fine. I’m fine.” She didn’t know the details of his dream, but from their talk earlier she could only assume she had played a part in it.

[farmboyhawk]

He knew she was okay, he could feel it, hear her... Still he had to bring his trembling hand to her neck to feel her skin smooth and intact there, free of every trace of blood, of the slightest scrape.

Only now he he could allow his body to relax back into the mattress. The adrenaline of an unexpected turn in the middle of a most pleasant dream had his body wired up, though. His back hard with tension, his eyes searching the room a few times, making sure everything was in order before he pressed his forehead against Natasha's shoulder.

He was still trying to get his breathing under control when he loosened the hold of his arms around her back, afraid to hurt her, just gently placed his hands on her waist instead.

"We're safe, right? We're alone..."

[study_in_scarlet]

Her fingers continued to move through his hair but otherwise she didn’t move, just let him hold her, let his hands move over her until he’d satisfied himself that she was truly there and well. His embrace was so strong, almost painful, but Natasha didn’t let her discomfort show, even managed to let her breath out slowly when he finally slackened his hold.

“Yes,” she answered, pressing a soft kiss to the side of his head. “Just you and me.”

[farmboyhawk]

Something between a chuckle and a huff came over his lips at her response. Well, that was what they usually told their marks before the killing shot. Which tended to be a little morbid after that last dream.
"I hope."

Blinking the last of sleep from his eyes, he soon realized, Natasha didn't look any different than before the second try, not the slightest ruffle in her hair, and her eyes were clear.

"I'm keeping you awake."

Sighing, he pushed her hair out of her face, resting his forehead against hers, trying to let the familiar feeling of closeness settle in like before. If he wanted to try and get another dose of sleep - hopefully this time without steeling Natasha hers - he needed to get this last tension out of his spine. But right now he couldn't even close his eyes without flinching.

[study_in_scarlet]

Her words had the desired effect, and while it was weak it was still a chuckle. She knew he’d recognize her choice of words no matter how tired and disoriented he was.

Leaning her forehead against his she smiled softly, her fingers following his hairline and brushing back behind his ear. “It’s okay,” she said easily. “You know I don’t require much sleep to feel rested.”

She had trained her body well over the years to not just function but be completely alert on very little sleep. Perhaps not healthy, but it was training she wasn’t about to let lax. It seemed highly useful even now.

[farmboyhawk]

He couldn't help but sigh at her fingers running through his hair, leaning into the touch immediately, let the tender caress chase away what was left of ghosts inside his head.

Soon he was back to give back the same tenderness, caressing her legs so soothingly enclosing his, her shoulders, her spine, feeling a lot more relaxed curling into him than he was.

Little need for sleep or not, this was not something they would do every night... But having her so close now, for such a long time, helped a great deal, especially after last evening when things had deepened so much between them. He was still bathing in that so long-sought relief of their feelings for each other, and if he couldn't get enough of her touch for a night... Well, that just seemed about right for a man completely and utterly in love.

And he just knew, without a doubt, after that difficult evening with thunder and coldness, provoking the fears he just couldn't get rid of since New York... He would have been in a much worse state right now, without her being there for him.

"Thank you, red."

He placed a few gentle kisses on her neck while he let his hands roam her body, sighing deeply again when the remains of the last panic attack slowly ceased, until nothing but that feeling remained. Just... having her. Being with her. Whenever time and place was right.
And no fucking asshole from this or another planet would take that from him. Not the way they had tried to.

[study_in_scarlet]

She could feel him slowly relaxing, her smooth skin under his hands having a soothing effect on him. She made no protest, just let him touch her wherever and however he wanted, and maybe he wasn’t the only one it was soothing to.

He wasn’t the only one who had dreams. Some nights she dreamt that she hadn’t been successful, that a knock to the head hadn’t been enough. Some nights he got the better of her and the results were just as horrific as Loki threatened, and other nights she lost him completely. It was the night she had to kill him, to kill him to save him, that she never forgot a detail of.

At his thanks she said nothing, just lifted her head and kissed his lips softly. They both had a lot to be thankful for, but it seemed the top of their lists definitely had to be each other.

[farmboyhawk]

If they hadn't lain so close to each other, probably he wouldn't have realized, but his lips were resting right where her pulse was a tad too quick for a moment, her chest pressing into his shivering with a deep breath. And when she turned her head to kiss him, he could see it in her eyes, just before they closed, the same look he kept on seeing in the mirror.

He didn't say anything because they had talked already all evening and half of the night. He just buried his hand in her hair and kissed her the way, the both needed it.

He claimed her mouth with tender touches, sighing against her skin, teeth tenderly scraping over the sensitive flesh before the tip of his tongue teased it, sneaking its way in. His leg gently caressed up and down her lower leg, embracing her like her arms around her. His hand resting on the sweet swell of her butt pressed her closer against him as his breathing grew deeper, content and calm with what played between them. They were alive, they had each other and what they felt, and it was still there, even in heavy moments.

[study_in_scarlet]

She hadn’t meant for him to see it, hadn’t wanted him to notice. For tonight she wanted to be his rock, wanted to be strong in the face of all of his fears; she hadn’t wanted to let on that she harboured some of the same herself.

It didn’t matter though as he didn’t mention it, maybe didn’t even notice, a fact that Natasha was entirely grateful for. The time for words had passed, it was the kiss, the touch, the intimacy that they both needed now. His kiss was gentle, but it wasn’t long before she deepened it; not desperate, not hard, just long and slow and deep. Her hand slid over his chest, her fingernails just lightly scraping his skin as he pressed her closer, his name a breathless whisper on her lips.

[farmboyhawk]

He captured her lips back in another deep kiss before she had quite said his name, tongue slipping in between, playfully sliding along hers. His fingertips on her ass slipped just a little deeper, knuckles running up and down the backsides of her thighs and her sensitive lips. Teasing, acknowledging, inviting but not demanding.

He let her feel the muscles of his abdomen playing against her bare mound and stroked her neck softly while he explored her mouth, but all in a calm, relaxed motion, his breath still going slow, even deeper now.

He didn't want her to move away from top of him, he didn't need to get lost in another adventure, not now. He just needed to feel her and would gladly go with whatever way she wanted to give herself to him.

[study_in_scarlet]

Every touch was gentle, relaxed, almost lazy, and so completely different from earlier in the evening. Even his breath remained steady, his heartbeat normal, and despite the pleasure of his wandering hand, Natasha wasn’t too quick to push this further. It was similar to the bath earlier, and she found herself enjoying the closeness without the expectation of more. No other man had ever touched her like this, not without quickly pushing for more, though more accurately she had never let them. More often than not it had been her pushing for hard and fast release, unwilling to let emotions get in the way. She never wanted to go back to that.

“Mmm, keep this up and I may never let you up again,” she muttered against his mouth, nipping gently at his bottom lip.

[farmboyhawk]

"That's kind of the plan. At least for tonight."

Her voice, colored rough with just the faintest hint of excitement, tickled that one spot below his spine, a warm pulse spreading and making his back arch up into her body.

Still he didn't really move, just let the muscles pressed into her most sensitive spot contract and release in an unsteady rhythm. His fingertips drew feather light circles over her thighs and the sensitive skin in between, never lingering too long in one place.

He let her gladly attack his lips with her teeth, pulling away just enough, so she had to bite down harder to keep him close. While he chuckled, gladly relaxing into the lightening mood, his fingertips found that one tender spot right below her ear, gently stroking, wandering up and down the line of her slightly faster going pulse.

[study_in_scarlet]

When he arched into her Natasha’s body answered, rubbing against him and unable to stifle a quiet moan. The things he did to her, even when he wasn’t really trying.

“You are such a tease,” she said, opening her eyes to glare at him, though it didn’t have much of an effect when she couldn’t stop smiling. Of course she knew she could just as easily get his motor revving again, but he seemed so relaxed finally, so content, that she didn’t want to push. She knew how strained he’d been earlier, giving her all the pleasure while ignoring his own needs, and if he wanted to play her body now at a lazy pace she certainly wasn’t going to argue.

Still, she couldn’t keep her pulse from quickening, nor her breath from catching when he simply tensed his muscles against her, the creative bastard. Biting his lip just a little harder, she gave it a rest and ducked her head to kiss his neck, his collarbone, the hollow of his throat.

[farmboyhawk]

"Not doing anything", he claimed, perfectly innocent.

But when she lowered her head, her body pressing into his just a little more with her back bending, he stretched out again, pressing against her bare mound with every deep breath, every flutter of his muscles. His hand kept caressing her, in long strokes from her back to her thighs, the rough of his palm barely touching her sensitive lips in the process. Only occasionally a fingertip slipped in between her folds, nudging the tender skin and immediately withdrawing.

Her lips on his body made it harder to keep his face unmoving, and finally his eyes fell close, his deep breaths stuttering just a little, hand tightening around her neck. Still he didn't move any further, just let himself enjoy the ongoing warm feeling of her weight against him, her breath dancing on his skin... the way she let him touch her, as they moved with the same instinctive harmony that had formed their team so perfectly, that made it so easy for them to communicate without words.

[study_in_scarlet]

“Hm, so I guess I’m getting myself all worked up for nothing?” she replied, nipping at him again.

The pace he set was strangely thrilling with how lazy and slow it was, but when that one finger occasionally went just a little further it was almost maddening. She couldn’t be the only one feeling this, not after how worked up he’d gotten himself earlier without her even touching him.

Finally she felt a chink in his armour, that stutter in his breath, the way his fingers tightened on her neck. She instinctively ground herself against him again.

“You know, this is entirely unfair. All night you’ve been wearing considerably more clothes than me.”

[farmboyhawk]

"You're welcome to change that, red, as long as it doesn't include you putting anything on."

Clint's murmur sounded considerably more out of breath now that Natasha pressed herself so tightly against him. At the latest when he arched his hips off the bed, inviting her to take care of these annoying trousers, there was no use hiding anymore that he was far more affected by her touch than he pretended to be.
Only very unwillingly he let go off her so they could take care of that little problem with the clothes but never stopped running his hand over her neck, through her hair.

"I hope that doesn't mean, I have to go without my favorite blanket."

[study_in_scarlet]

“Good answer,” Natasha replied, raising her head again to grin at him before stealing another quick kiss. Placing her hands on his chest she pushed herself up and off of him for a moment to sit at his side. She normally wasn’t one to mind the cold, but tonight it had been bothering her more than usual, and now with the loss of his body heat was no exception. She knew right now that it was in her head, that her body wasn’t actually cold at all, it was just her missing his heat. Even as she pushed his trousers down over his legs and discarded them she couldn’t help but lean into his touch.

“It would be downright cruel of me to deprive you of that,” she said, her eyes traveling up the length of his body before settling on his face again. Pulling the covers back up over her shoulders, she threw her leg over his waist again and ducked her head, leaving a trail of kisses up his chest, his neck, before reclaiming his lips again as she settled back down to lay on top of him once more.

[farmboyhawk]

Clint had honestly meant to tease her back, maybe mention these cute shivers running over her arms when she moved just a few inches away from him... But he decided, it was far more interesting having her lips back on his body.

Her kisses made the building need spread out, his nipples hardening against the touch of her chest when she laid back down, and desire mingled in the way his tongue slipped into her mouth at once, much more of a challenge than a teasing touch this time.

But still his arms were pressing her gently against his body, legs firmly closing around hers, seeking out as much contact as possible. Every inch of their heated skin pressed together reminded him of what they shared, how intensive this thing between them was. That she would never allow the coldness inside to take over, just like she had promised.

His hardening length pressed against her thigh with their embrace becoming more intimate, and a soft moan interrupted his deep breaths, vibrating against her lips. His hand found its way from her waist back between her spread legs, his fingertips continuing their agonizing light touch over her center.

[study_in_scarlet]

Now sooner had she laid back down before Clint was wrapping himself around her, erasing every bit of distance between them. He held her close, tight, so she couldn’t move but the last thing she felt right then was trapped. She wanted to be there, wanted to feel every inch of him, wanted to feel as close to him as she possibly could.

She swallowed his moan, her tongue battling with his a moment longer before she broke away. Lowering her head back to his chest, she slid her body down his until their hips were even and she could feel him hard against her, right where she wanted him. Burying her face in his chest, she shifted her hips to slide her slit along the length of him, letting out a little moan herself against his skin.

[farmboyhawk]

"Nat..."

Her name was nearly a whimper of his breath against her ear, a gentle bite following on the edge as the growing tension built up again in his body.

But this time it was a good, a comfortable tension, little electric waves down to the hair on his arms. Every shiver from Natasha's hot trembling body was flowing right through him.

She was warm and wet against him, the sweetest inviting sensation that he drew out, took in just as much as their tight embrace, the wordless, deep intimacy of the moment.

The way he locked eyes with her, saw the glimmer of lust shining in the beautiful dark green color. The way he smiled at her when his breath went faster by the second.

He pressed against her in slow, light circles of his hips, right where her soft damp folds met at this tiny hardened point, his hand on her back gently pressing her against the playful movements.

His head fell back against the mattress, quiet groans on his lips, and he wasn't quite sure if it was torture or heaven but he sure as hell enjoyed it.

[study_in_scarlet]

I shiver went through her at his name against her ear, and she answered the bite by scraping her teeth along his skin before soothing it with the flat of her tongue. This wasn’t like before where he did all the giving but received nothing but tension and frustration in return; there was no worry nor holding back either, they just were. They were completely open and relaxed and unhurried, and it felt amazing.

She could feel his eyes on her and raised her head, propping her chin on his chest. The smile he gave her was impossible not to return, and the look in his eyes made her own breath catch. Dropping her head back to his chest when he finally broke the eye contact, the slight movements of her hips matched his. They were barely moving, just holding each other tight, but that slight friction was enough to make her moan again. “I want to feel you... inside me,” she whispered between breaths, but like everything else in that moment it wasn’t demanding or pleading, just a simple voiced desire.. She wanted to stay close to him, be as close to him as possible, and even if they moved no more than they were right now she thought it might be enough.

[farmboyhawk]

Clint's breath stuttered in his throat, because as happy as he would have been just having her like that, maybe coax her into a slow, sweet height, just pressing into her and watch her all the time... Yes, he wanted her too, just like that, in his arms and around him, with every breath. To know, she would be there after every bad night whenever it was possible and with him when he needed her.

It didn't hurt that her nude heated body probably wouldn't even have left his hormones cold in the middle of an ice dune.

He didn't say anything, just buried his face softly against her neck and went beck to these soft short kisses and nibbles. His hand went from her back lower, gently dipping between her legs, without the teasing this time. He thought, he could very probably just have taken her and she wouldn't have minded, and probably it would have been okay.

But this was a part of it too, a part of him, of this thing between them. Every time they left the house, there were a dozen possibilities for them to get in trouble and on a good day only half of them able to kill them. When it was just Natasha and him... Then he didn't want to take even the slightest risk of hurting her. Not like this. Not with his body when all he wanted for her was to feel good.

So he put his gently caressing fingers where they had been before, stroking through her slick folds until two digits carefully slipped inside of her, savoring her promising tight heat with soft circling movements. His hips thrust slightly upward without his doing, another moan vibrating against her neck when the tenderness mingled with more need.